Wednesday, October 27, 2010

I'm No Carving Expert

I placed the tools on the kitchen counter and eyed them closely.

Sure, I didn’t know exactly what each of them did. But that was okay. I’d figure it out.

Right?

I lifted one of the tool things up. “This is to....cut the pumpkin,” I said.

Yes. Everything that I had laid out was for carving pumpkins. I got one of those pumpkin tool kits thinking that it might help.

I picked up another tool. This one looked exactly like the other one I checked, only slightly bigger. “This is....also to cut the pumpkin,” I mumbled knowledgably.

I hoped I wouldn’t mess up. Tom usually does the pumpkin carving. I did it once before, a long time ago, and the pumpkin ended up looking like that Sloth dude from The Goonies. One eye was up, one eye was down, the nose was off to the side, the mouth a gigantic mess...

So I vowed to do better this year. And when my friend Amanda mentioned that she’d print out special stencils I thought, “I’m up for the challenge. I just cut out bits of pumpkin out, how hard can that be?”

Amanda and her family came over to carve pumpkins so if I lost a finger, I’d have help right away.

The two stencils I had were batman and Brobee from the creepy Yo Gabba Gabba show.

But first I had to open the pumpkin.

I took one of the pumpkin tools and poised it over the pumpkin. I took a deep breath. I felt like a surgeon, about to perform a life saving operation. Then I thought about Patrick Dempsey, who plays a doctor on Grey’s Anatomy and got bitter because it’s not fair when a man has better hair than you do. It’s just seriously not fair! It’s—oh, wait, I had to concentrate on the pumpkin. Not man hair.

I stuck the knife in.

And the thing almost snapped off.

So I used the next best thing: a regular knife.

I managed to get the top off and then came down to pull out the seeds.



Natalie did this for like a second before she declared it “too gross.”



Oh, but when Tommy tried to remove some seeds, she took great offense and was all, “This is MY pumpkin, brother.”



Here she is telling me, “Tell brother that this is MINE!”

I quickly opened Tommy’s pumpkin so Natalie wouldn’t have a full flown tantrum.

Then I got started on the Batman stencil. At first I had no idea where to begin. I picked up a knife. I put it back down. I surveyed the pumpkin in a businesslike manner as though I believed it would talk to me and explain what I needed to do. I picked up another knife. Looked at the stencil. Realized I should probably tape the stencil to the pumpkin. I did that and I poised the knife over the stencil.....

.....and when I was done, the pumpkin actually looked like Batman.

I was stunned. And a little bit impressed. I mean, for my first stencil, I did a pretty good job.

Next came Brobee.

Ugh.

Brobee was harder.

But I managed. I cursed a few times, but I managed to get it done.

And actually, I think both pumpkins turned out.



Cool, huh?

(And yup, Amanda and her husband did Wubzy and Kai-lan.)

**Oh and thanks to all the people who volunteered to read my novel. I'm only having 2 people read it so far, so I keep track on who all has it**

42 comments:

  1. Please don't show my husband the Batman stencil. He will leave me forever.

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  2. i'm super impressed!!

    i've never carves a pumpkin.. heck!! i don't even LIKE pumpkins.. and i think i would have a hard time digging the insides out.. YUCK!!

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  3. I'm impressed! Those stencils are really intimidating. I love that Natalie is all dressed up like Snow White for the big event :) If there's room on the waiting list, I'd love to read your novel!!

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  4. Nice pumpkins!
    Sigh...I guess my handstands didn't impress, huh? LOL

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  5. They look awesome! I haven't carved pumpkins in forever!

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  6. I meant to tell you yesterday that i want to read your novel! You said it's chick lit and I love that genre so I am in when you pass them out or get published! Whichever!!

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  7. You did a great job! Batman looks awesome. I have no idea who the other character is but it looks great too.

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  8. I think we tried using one of those pumpkin carving kits once, but they're so cheap and flimsy. The best thing is a cerrated knife.

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  9. those are some pretty awesome pumpkins.

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  10. Those carving kits always break when we try them...I leave the carving up to DH because he is so so SO much more artistic than I am. But you did an awesome job - plus your kids look super cute in those pictures. I can't get enough of the blondness!

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  11. Those look good!!! I'm not good @ carving. I always cut something off that I should have on.

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  12. Holy Cow, those are awesome!!!

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  13. Your Pumpkins look Awesome!! I'm glad to know now that the pumpkin carving kit tools aren't so sturdy since we will be carving our pumpkins tonight.

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  14. I only know who batman is of all those characters but they all look awesome with the lights in.

    I love Natalies dress too.. so cute

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  15. I'm with Natalie--too gross! They came out great, though: )

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  16. We're carving a pumpkin on Saturday! I do it every year, and every year it comes out HORRIBLE! But we have fun!

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  17. They would probably make a lot of money making pumpkins that actually gave you jack-o-lantern instructions...they could attach a voice recorder!

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  18. they look pretty awesome. Chris is going to carve a pumpkin with G this year. that should be interesting.

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  19. Wow, you did a great job! And your kids will love looking back on these in years to come! Nice work, Mom!

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  20. The pumpkins look great!! I can never get them to look all artsy. In fact I'm putting off carving ours because I'm ashamed to do my lame faces again.

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  21. They look great! It's amazing the things one can learn to do when her husband is gone.

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  22. Pretty impressive pumpkin carving skills there. I love that Natalie is wearing her costume. She is such a cutie patootie!

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  23. They look pretty good - and Natalie is right, pulling out the brains is gross.

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  24. We carved pumpkins for the 1st time using stencils this year too. A goblin & a witch--turned out pretty good if I do say so myself :) PS: I would love to read your novel for you, too...maybe it'll give me hope that I'll actually FINISH MINE! lol

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  25. I absolutely love that Natalie is wearing a princess dress to the pumpkin carving party!

    Way to go with the carving - they look great.

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  26. A very 'Spooktacular' job on the pumpkins girl! I just love how Natalie dressed for the occasion!!! Heeehehehe! What fun!!!

    God bless and have a terrific day ya'll!!! :o)

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  27. I suck at carving pumpkins. They are boring and bland. My husband free-handed a spongebob pumpkin a couple years ago and it was awesome! I love your pumpkins!

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  28. Your pumpkins look great! I love the Batman!

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  29. Your pumpkins rock!!
    My pumpkins suck!!
    This is why I buy battery-operated plastic ones. :)
    Great pics of the kids!! I always enjoy visiting here.
    Best,
    gabriele

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  30. Fabulous! I carved a spider web last year. Never again!

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  31. On a good year, I can get two eyes. The mouth is always too tricky:)

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  32. I love that Natalie is dressed as Snow White for the pumpkin carving. Girl likes to make an occasion, huh!
    I've never carved a pumpkin- deprived British childhood!!! Seems like I might be missing out.

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  33. You did a great job for carving the pumpkins AND keeping all of your fingers. YEAH!

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  34. Oh WOW! I'm super impressed. T would LOVE the Kai-lan one. I've never carvee one by myself, I don't do well with knives. . .

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  35. My wife is always insisting that we carve the pumpkins WAY earlier than we should, then she's ready to pitch them before Halloween even gets here.

    I make her put up with the moldy shriveled jack-o-lanterns as punishment for her impatience.

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  36. Great job! Love the batman! Finally catching up on reading your blog after having the baby and remembering how much I enjoy it! And please, put me down on the waiting list to read your novel! I promise I'd be a good beta reader, although I've never heard that term before today. I'm sure I could figure it out. :)

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  37. They look great. I bought this fantastic set that is like lightbrite for pumpkins. The other tip, carve a watermelon. It's easier: http://www.insidetoronto.com/community/life/article/892360--jack-o-melon

    LisaDay

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  38. Those look great! I'm glad you didn't cut a finger off, either.

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  39. Spongebob pumpkin...? did someone say Spongebob pumpkin???!?

    “In every Fruit of Pumpkin I see a visage as plain as though it stood before me, shaped and perfect in attitude and action. I have only to hew away the rough walls that imprison the lovely apparition to reveal it to the other eyes as mine see it.”

    -Amber Michelangelo

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  40. The pumpkin carving is hard! And Im allergic to the pumpkin guts or something because I immediately start itching and turn bright red on my arms when I try to scoop those dang things out

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  41. oh, wow! you go girl! pretty pumpkins there.

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