Friday, December 31, 2010

I Resolve...

So New Year’s is approaching.

I figured I ought to make some resolutions. Or try to, at least.

So here we go.


I resolve NOT to give up fast food.

The people who can do that are heroes in my eyes. Who could go without delicious fries covered in salt? Or Big Macs? Or..or...the grilled stuffed burrito from Taco Bell?


I resolve to NOT give up cursing.

I can’t do it. I tend to have a potty mouth when I’m playing video games which is why I play them when the kids are in bed. Or try to, at least. I was playing Angry Birds the other day and dropped a few inappropriate words. It’s just, those green pigs were MOCKING me.


I resolve to NOT give up my diet coke.

That’s how I get my caffeine. Without it, I’d be terribly cranky. And I’d probably curse a lot more.


I resolve to NOT stop buying ultra adorable clothes for my children.

I can’t help it. And I know that there will come a day when they won’t let me dress them anymore. Actually, Tommy is kind of like this now, but for the most part if I set something out he’ll put it on.


I resolve to NOT stop laughing at farts.

I know. I’m 28. Farts shouldn’t be funny anymore. But they are.



I resolve to get an agent to believe in me and my book.

After all, there has to be SOMEONE out there for me. I mean, if someone like Snooki and Paris Hilton can get a book published, by God I can.


Happy New Year, everyone. See ya in 2011.

50 comments:

  1. Farts are ALWAYS funny... I'm 34 and I still laugh.

    LOVE the resolutions. I could live w/ those...

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  2. I resolve not to give up brownies or coke zero. :o)

    Happy New Year!

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  3. Great resolutions--they shouldn't be hard to break!

    Good luck on the book agent!

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  4. This is pretty cool. You resolve NOT to do the same things I resolve TO DO and maybe the universe will support us because we balance each other - LOL. We'll work as opposites on the fast food (cause of my muffin top), the cursing (cause I use it way too much to expressive myself) and the soda (cause I can never stop at one).

    Let's see what happens??

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  5. I like your attitude! I hope I can be as spunky when I'm grown up.

    P.S. Farts are still funny at 59.

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  6. HAHA I agree with all of them!! If I had kids, I would be the same way...and I WISH I could write a book!!! A girl can dream ;-)

    Happy New Year!!

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  7. I LOVE LOVE LOVE your resolution list!

    Stopping by to wish you a happy new year!

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  8. Good for you! This is what all resolutions list should be like. So practical. Why disappoint yourself with actually trying to make goals for improvement knowing you'll never reach them. And who says we need improving anyway!

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  9. Those are perfectly reasonable and attainable goals! Happy New Year, Amber!

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  10. great resolutions. haha. and I particular love the last one. You'll get one... just gotta think positive, right, haha ;)

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  11. Oh thank GOODNESS you're not gonna stop laughing at Farts. They are ALWAYS funny, just ALWAYS! I'm 38 for crying out loud and i still giggle like a child.

    Love all your "resolutions" they're at least realistic.

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  12. Best. Resolutions. Ever. Good luck with the book! I would looove to read it... But I'm not an agent.

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  13. I also resolve to NOT give up Coke. Like you it is my only source of caffeine and you just don't want to be around me if I'm off my fix ;)

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  14. I curse while playing video games, too. Like A LOT! The funniest part of me doing it is that I only play Spyro and all those Lego games like Indiana Jones and Star Wars. So I am cursing at video games that are made for kids under 10. That's how cool I am.

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  15. If my family stopped thinking farts were funny I think we would lose about half of the conversations we have. Long live poop and fart jokes!

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  16. Those are GREAT resolutions! May you succeed at each and everyone! Happy New Year!

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  17. Farts will never cease to be funny. I am quite possibly old enough to be your mother and I can assure you they will always make you laugh.
    Farts in Yoga class are extra funny.

    Happy New Year!

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  18. These are some seriously great resolutions! I have to think now what I resolve NOT to do.

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  19. Happy New Year! I hope to read your published book some day soon!

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  20. I resolve to keep on reading you because you are one funny lady!

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  21. Love your resolutions!!

    If you like farts so much, come on over. My husband is the world champion, and it's not as much fun as it sounds. *eye roll*

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  22. Farts and other people falling over are funny. It's a universal truth.

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  23. Now there is a set of resolutions that ought be easy to followup on ('cept the last)!!

    I hope this is the year your book meets the public in printed form!!

    ...and you have to decide who's going to be in the movie...

    :)

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  24. Ha ha! Love this. I may have to make one of these lists myself.

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  25. Very apt resolutions for the new year in my opinion. Especially the diet Coke one. That's my caffeine kick as well.

    Happy New Year!

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  26. Finally! A list I can believe in! Happy New Year, and get that agent!

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  27. Haha! Great Blog-glad to have found you. Happy new Year. ~ Deedee

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  28. I'm with you on the Diet Coke and the fast food. And Snooki is so NOT from Poughkeepsie...she is from Marlboro, which is in a different county, on the other side of the river, over the bridge, and the wrong side of the tracks...any way you cut it... she's plain wrong! :)

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  29. Ooh, I like your 'not' resolutions. I think it's a great idea to focus on the things your are going to continue to enjoy instead of focussing on the things you are going to deprive yourself of. Good luck with that agent-seeking. I still think you deserve to be published.

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  30. Those are my kind of resolutions! And I too could never give up {well I could but why would I want to?!} diet coke and cursing. Life's simple pleasures.

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  31. I see you made it home all right. I was really glad to see that. Happy New Year to you and yours, Amber! It's been a rough year, but things will get better!

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  32. Oh I love this list..even I could keep those resolutions :)

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  33. I would definitely buy your book over anything from Snooki...for God's sake the chick can't even get a decent hairstyle!

    And I love the resolutions. They're just my style!

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  34. I resolve not to give up ice cream!!! And I would love to read your book...I'm no publisher but I know it would be an awesome read!

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  35. I also just committed on my blog to NOT stop swearing!

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  36. I don't even know who Snooki is.

    Happy New Year! I am sure the perfect editor/publisher is out there for you.

    Gave up avoiding diet coke because I just like Coke Zero & Diet Dr Pepper. I don't understand people who NEVER go to Fast Food places.

    One of my best friends was corrupted by me. She had never been to a Fast food place & we went through the drive through - I had to talk her through the whole process and then she tried to drive off after paying & NOT GETTING THE FOOD. I just laughed & laughed.

    Thank you for the smiles/laughs last year & the ones that I am sure you will bring me this year.

    God bless you & yours.

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  37. Haha! I'm sure you can manage most of those resolutions! Cute!

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  38. I love your resolutions cause my resolution is always not to make a resolution cause it is like setting yourself up for disappointment! LOL! Happy New Year!

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  39. Life without Diet Coke just seems sad - I don't want to give it up either!

    Best of luck finding an agent... maybe we should all write recommendation letters for you! :)

    Happy New Year!

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  40. I am a new friend and follower. This post made me laugh and smile!! :)

    xoxo
    Kate
    http://loveiseverywhere.blogspot.com/

    Stop bye and say hello if you have aminute!!

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  41. I just posted you as one of my Inspiring Award winners on my blog! I surely hope you accept. Please check out the post on my blog.
    I absolutely LOVE your blog!

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  42. Happy New Year...I hope 2011 is good to you!

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  43. If you find an agent, send one my way...

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  44. I can't wait to read your book! I'm sure your resolution will come to fruition (I couldn't think of a better way to say that!:) )

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  45. I still laugh at farts, and I'm 38. I had to hold them all in at the family function New Year's Eve, so when my boyfriend and I walked out, I said, "Hey, guess what," and let 'er rip. He whined, "My girlfriend should not be able to make those noises!" I said, "Well, how about this," and gave him an encore. I laughed and laughed and he just walked away.

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  46. Farts never get old...stinky but never old

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  47. I like your idea of reverse resolutions, as in what I will resolve NOT to do! I'm going to have to come up with some of my own. =D

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