Friday, April 1, 2011

Army Wives Sniffles

“What’s wrong with your face?” Tom asked bluntly. He just called me on Skype and it’s not exactly something a woman wants to hear from her husband. I mean, how rude. I should have asked him what’s wrong with HIS face. Instead I sniffled and pressed a tissue up to my eyes.

“I finished watching Army Wives,” I explained.

“And?” Tom pressed, not comprehending why my face was bright red. Look, I’m an ugly crier. I can’t help it. My face squishes up and turns as red as a tomato and liquid pours from my eyes and nose.

“J-J-Jeremy d-i-i-e-d and his father gave him a final sa-a-a-a-l-l-l-u—”

“You shouldn’t watch sad episodes. They always upset you,” Tom cut in, unmoved. Totally and completely unmoved. Did he not hear me? Did he not hear that JEREMY HAD DIED and WASN’T COMING HOME?

“Jeremy died,” I said. I waited for some sort of emotion from Tom. Instead he put a handful of M&Ms in his mouth and chewed and chewed like a cow.

“Let me guess. You cried. A lot. I thought you were having an allergic reaction at first. Your face is so red,” Tom pointed out.

“Your ass is red,” I retorted. Then I realized that it made no sense. He wasn’t a baboon. (Though sometimes he behaves like one..) It’s just, Tom was mocking my face and wasn’t even showing any sympathy. All he was doing was eating his stupid M&Ms.

“Oh man, you told me,” Tom joked.

“Why aren’t you showing any emotion?” I demanded.

Tom rolled his eyes. “Because it’s a television show.”

“But the character symbolizes real soldiers who don’t get to come home!” I wailed. I was about to cry all over again. I didn’t want Jeremy to die. He was my eye candy on the show. It seems like my eye candy always dies. I mean, let’s take stock here: George was my eye candy on Grey’s Anatomy. He died. Charlie was my eye candy in Lost. He died. Thomas Culpepper was my eye candy on The Tudors. He died. Jeremy was my eye candy on Army Wives. AND HE DIED! It’s a conspiracy, I tell you. (And I looked it up, the actor who played Jeremy was born in 1984 so I’m not pulling a Mary Kay Louterneau or anything..)

“It’s just a show,” Tom repeated. “You get all worked up when someone dies. Like when you watch that movie Oceans—”

“Beaches,” I corrected.

“Whatever. You always cry at the end. Why not save yourself the tears and not watch sad stuff?” Tom wondered.

“Because I like the sad stuff!” I screeched.

“Your face tells a different story,” Tom answered.

Sometimes I want to throttle him. He just doesn’t get it.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to watch Steel Magnolias.

66 comments:

  1. I cried at a cat food commercial. My friend, Mary Lou, once told me our eyes were too close to our bladders, thus the reason we cry so easy. I loved watching stuff with her. She would laugh if I cried at stuff. Cute post!

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  2. I think I cry during 98% of the Army Wives episodes. I now watch when SO isn't around so I don't have to explain it to him.

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  3. LOL, I'm a huge crier for TV and movies. I told The Man not to come over the night of the Lost finale but did he listen?! NO, he comes in right at the end. THE END!!! You don't come over when I'm crying the most and man, Lost had me real ugly.

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  4. I'm glad I'm not the only one that bawled through that entire episode. I'm so lame I even RE-WATCHED IT A SECOND TIME and let myself cry all over again, while my husband laughed at me. He couldn't believe I was crying AGAIN. He was like "You've already seen it once. You KNOW what happens. Why are you still crying about it?"

    Through my crocodile tears, "HONEY HE STILL DIED!!!!!!!" WAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH

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  5. I cried during Greys last night (from the micropreemie birth, not the singing) and I am pretty sure I would have cried at that episode of Army Wives, too.

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  6. Haha, I cry SOOOO easily at movies/shows. My father called me once a few weeks ago and I had just finished watching The Stoning of Soraya M. (Okay, if you DON'T cry at that movie you have a heart of coal) and I was sobbing and he kept asking, "Then why watch it?" Because I like it!!! If a movie is realistic enough or pulls me in enough to make me cry it's cinematic genius to me.

    It really doesn't make sense, does it?

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  7. I recently was on the phone with my father and demanded to know whether he even KNEW that crying is HEALTHY. And he was like, no never heard that before... humphhhh

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  8. I recently was on the phone with my father and demanded to know whether he even KNEW that crying is HEALTHY. And he was like, no never heard that before... humphhhh

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  9. Thomas knows he has a wonderful wife - he knows he can tease you "unmercifully."

    :) I bet he secretly tears up too.

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  10. I cry at anything remotely sad. My husband takes every opportunity to tease me. Men ARE baboons :-)

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  11. I don't watch Army Wives... but I watch Greys... and I so cried last night. A lot of my friends didn't like the "musical" episode, but I did...

    It's a great question though, why DO we put ourselves through all that crying???

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  12. George died?!? Gawd, I'm out of the TV loop.

    You're a glutton for punishment! Steel Magnolias gets me Every. Single. Time.

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  13. I literally just finished the episode two minutes ago and I was wondering if I knew of anyone or a blog that watches the show too. I am still wiping my tears and have chills from the final song. What a heartbreaker!!

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  14. I love Beaches and Steel Magnolais. Both are quality movies. And Tyler doesn't get it either- last night I was crying 4 minutes into Grey's {the preemie birth got me. the singing? not so much} and he laughed. Men!

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  15. George died? Crap. I am behind.

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  16. Loved "your ass is red!" comment. Hilarious.

    I don't watch Army Wives but Steel Magnolias and Beaches get me every time.

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  17. yep!
    i don't cry about a lot, but tvs and movies... oh yea!
    and doug is all... whats the deal.. its ALL pretend!!

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  18. George was my eye candy too!!
    I haven't ever tried Army Wives -- can never remember when it's on.

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  19. I cried out of control watching that episode too. I'm an ugly crier as well. That show that is on after Army Wives, Coming Home, makes me cry just by watching the commercial. I can't make myself watch that one though.

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  20. ps my husband gets a "tear in his eye that doesn't fall" over Extreme Makeover. So I get to tease him and him back for all of my TV ugly cries.

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  21. Guys don't know what to do when women cry and they hate it mostly. LOL My son already gets all annoyed that I cry over everything and he's only 10.

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  22. I just love your blog! It just gives me a good laugh and I think because I react the same way, to the shows, to my husband! My husband normally is fairly sympathetic to my emotional outbursts at the shows. He always grins at me and just says come over here. But when he would be gone he would tell me the same stuff like why do you watch it? Well, I don't know because some times it feels good to have a sad cry? I mean I know if I am in a mood and need to let a little out I will throw on The Notebook, or PS I Love You - that will always get ya!

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  23. I hate to tell you, but he's not completely wrong ;) such an insensitive man though...

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  24. Oh No! I got rid of cable and haven't been keeping up... must order from netflix!

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  25. lol I'm a crier too...i've cried during Kleenex commercials even! I dont watch Army Wives, but with you have a husband in the service I'm sure it touches home big time. Steel Magnolias...omg that one is a killer! So is A Walk to Remember.

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  26. This is why they don't want to watch the good stuff ....... it will make them cry. He who will cry with me. I love that about him, which is good, because he has so many other character flaws that I love to point out to him .....

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  27. I cried the ENTIRE episode and the next day when I talked to my fiance he said the same thing, "Babe, it's just a television show!" Ugh..they don't get it. I can't believe he died though and it looks like the weeks ahead are going to be tough too!

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  28. You know, a Day at the Opera can be just as entertaining

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  29. i cried so hard i thought i was gonna puke watching that episode for exactly the reason you said!

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  30. haha that was funny (or not funny at all?, because its about soldiers), however, it seems that marital life has such debates so often..

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  31. That post was so hilarious, I had to even read it out loud to my to my husband. After Army Wives was done this week my husband fought back his tears and screeched "Why couldn't it be Chase?!" LOL

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  32. My husband waits until there's a potentially tear-jerking moment on a show and then turns to me and asks -- in an accusatory tone -- "Are you crying?" I always want to say, "What do you think? And why aren't you?!?"

    Thanks for the great post.

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  33. I'm a big crier at movies and tv shows too. Drives my husband crazy.
    I bawl at Steel Magnolias every time! That cemetery scene kills me!

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  34. I sobbed my way through Army Wives. Sobbed.

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  35. Oh my gosh...I almost NEVER cry! Steel emotions, ya'll. Except for when I watch TV; I gush like a baby. And then my husband comes in and acts all sarcastic..."Oh, no! Did so-and-so die, get married, have a baby, have an emotional breakdown?" Um, yeah! They just don't get it...

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  36. I always cry watching shows. My husband just rolls his eyes. He has the same opinion as Tom :p

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  37. I still lose it during Bambi!!!

    You are a tender soul...men just don't get it and never will.

    God bless ya sweetie and have a fantastic weekend!!! :o)

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  38. Dude, he is such a GUY. That show made me BAWL.

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  39. Hello Darling friend! I totally know what you mean. My mom lives in Arkansas, and she calls me right before Army wives started... she goes... Are you crying yet?! I am thinking to myself? WHAT?! I knew someone "passes" but she was about to spill the beans. My fear it was going to be Trevor, as he and Roxy are my favorite couple on the show. Then I thought. Oh it could be Chase. Then I am thinking to myself.... ummmm JEREMY!!!! But atleast he can look after Amanda Holden in heaven now. I cant wait until next sundays episode!! :)

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  40. I LOVE Steel Magnolias!!!!! And Beaches too. And The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood.....and I live in a house of guys - they don't get it. Although once, back when we were newly married, hubby watched Steel Magnolias with me (as I said, we were newly married) he cried too. But ssssh, that's our little secret.

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  41. Hello from an Australian Mummy Blogger.

    Unfortunately they axed Army wives over here after only 2 seasons :( Love that show!!

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  42. I am an ugly crier too. Not only do I do the red face and dripping from eyes and nose... I sob convulsively too, like, loudly. It is ugly AND noisy. And I cry over characters too. Men just don't understand!

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  43. Geez. All you ladies are a bunch of mush.

    What's next? The Notebook?

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  44. I've never seen Army Wives, but I hear it is a fantastic show. Love Steel Magnolias!

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  45. I can't watch Army Wives because I know I'll ball my eyes out then I'll be blind and won't be able to watch Grey's, which I cried to this week because of the preemie...and I'm so not attractive when I cry either, hence I do it where no one can SEE me!

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  46. Ugh, so insensitive! At least Steel Magnolias has a good dose of humor in it, though.

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  47. That's the problem with Skype! There's no pretending you just have a cold coming on like you can over the phone.

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  48. OH man I cried my eyes out at Army Wives too! And the same day I had watched The Big C finale on On Demand and cried. It was a day of tears and my husband was very, very afraid.

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  49. Hey, you have a great, great blog. I will not watch those shows, movies, etc. and I'm a dude.

    Thanks for following/commenting on my blog. My wife and I combined, now we are at http://bothsidesofthecoin1.blogspot.com. Hope you'll come visit!

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  50. Army wives is taped where my husband and I live (Charleston SC) so I started watching it to see if I recognized places they filmed at.. My husband and I bawled our eyes out the last episode! I mean.. I haven't cried like that since I first watched The Notebook! Soooo sad.. Luckily my husband was crying too so I didn't get made fun of. Although he loves to laugh at me when I cry at movies or TV shows!

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  51. I've got 5 taped episodes to watch of Army Wives, but don't worry, you didn't spoil it for me! I happened to turn the TV on when that part was on and bawled my eyes out!

    Men! They just don't understand!

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  52. I cried my eyes out during that episode, too!

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  53. I love a show that makes you cry that hard. Tom sounds like my hubby, they just don't get it!

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  54. It's okay - I cry if there's a remotely sad scene in a movie!

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  55. Ah well, they laugh at the Three Stooges, we cry at the drop of a hat. Mars, Venus. (I'm a very ugly post-crier: red nose, red yes, very puffy eyelids. Not at all attractive and a dead-giveaway if I try to play it off as "allergies.") Sympathies.

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  56. I used to always make fun of my mom for crying at Hallmark commercials. Now I am the one crying at tv shows... sigh. Haven't seen Army Wives yet though. ;)

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  57. chewed and chewed like a cow.

    Love that! Love it. I think stuff like that too.

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  58. I was sooo mad!! I loved him! I also cant watch "Coming home." I cry too much.

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  59. Sorry to hear your eye candy died - again. You should watch the Little Princess - sobbing out loud type of movie.

    LisaDay

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  60. And sometimes a good cry is just what we need! Men - they never understand.

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  61. A good TV cry is so cathartic, right?

    Thanks for visiting me during my SITS weekend!

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  62. I absolutely cried during this episode! Luckily Rocket knew better than to say anything when he came into the room where I was watching. I kind of wanted to "enjoy" my cry, my moment of connection with this family's pain.

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  63. I am a follower of mysterychick, who follows you and I checked out your blog. I also just started my own blog. I have to say when I read this I was DYING! I am also a military wife and when I watched Army Wives I was BAWLING! My husband (who is home right now) came down and asked hat was wrong, like you I explained and like your husband he didnt get it! I could not stop laughing when I read this!!! Your blog is great!!

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