Monday, May 9, 2011

Flowers and Pinafores

It started off lovely.

I woke up at 10 and the kids greeted me with big smiles across their faces.

“Happy Mother’s Day,” my son said and behind his back he had a bouquet of flowers.

“Happy Mother’s Day,” my daughter repeated, dressed in her adorable pinafore. She even did a little curtsy.

Are you buying any of this?

Yeah, I didn’t think so.

My Mother’s Day started off like this:

I was in a deep sleep and then I heard an annoying Rummmmm Rummmmmm Rummmmmm sound.

I cracked open one eye and checked the clock. 758. I closed my eyes again. The good news is, I’ve trained my kids to let me sleep until 830 or 9.

Rummmmmmm Rummmmmmm Rummmmm

My eyes shot open again. What the hell? It sounded like someone was revving their motorcycle. Which is cool, but does that sort of thing have to be done at 758 on a Sunday?

Rummmmmmm Rummmmmmm Rummmmm

It was like the stupid thing was mocking me. I shoved the covers off of me and stomped over to the window. I opened it and shouted, “Hey! Shut up! It’s Mother’s Day for God’s sake!” Then I slammed the window and climbed back into bed.

Okay, so what I did might not have been much better. But really. Cut the noise until after 10 on weekends. It’s etiquette. Just because your kids wake you up at the crack of dawn doesn’t mean everyone else has to get up too.

Of course my kids heard me shouting so then I heard a tiny knock on the door.

“Mommy? It’s me, Natalie.”


Normally she stays in her room until I come and get her. But because she heard me yelling, she assumed it meant it was time for the day to begin.

“Mommy is sleeping,” I answered.

A pause.

“No, because you’re talking,” Natalie said primly. Then she opened the door, ran over to the bed and jumped on my face.

Rummmmm rummmmm rummmmmmm! Clearly, my shouting had done nothing to shut up the motorcycle guy. Or girl. Rude ass.

So I had to wake up. There was no getting back to sleep. I pushed Natalie’s butt off my nose and walked into Tommy’s room. He was hunched over a DS game.

“Hello,” I said. “Do you have anything to say to me?”

Tommy didn’t respond.

“HELLO?” I could have been doing the can can in my underwear and he wouldn’t have noticed.

Tommy glanced up. “Huh, what?” He seemed annoyed.

I threw my hands in the air. “Don’t you want to say anything to me?”

Tommy paused his game and surveyed me. “Nice, um, hair?”

Hair? What? My hair was standing on end since I had just woken up.

“It’s Mother’s Day,” I reminded him.

Tommy nodded. “I made you something.” He thundered down the stairs.

Natalie and I followed him as he dug through his backpack. He pulled out an envelope and handed it over.

I opened it and found this:

Aw. I loved it, typos and all.

He thanked me for letting him use my iPod. Which believe me, I don’t do often. Some things need to belong to me.

Natalie also gave me a card:

Tommy started to go back upstairs after that.

“Er, don’t I get breakfast?” I called out.

Tommy whirled around and seemed confused. “I can’t use the oven. You said if I tried that I’d set myself on fire and die.”

Okay. Maybe I shouldn’t have been so blunt. It’s just, I have this fear that Tommy will decide to cook and them BAM our house goes up in flames. This isn’t even our house either, it belongs to the Air Force, so I don’t even want to know what would happen if our house became a ball of fire.

“Can you find something that doesn’t need to be cooked?” I wondered and yawned. Ugh, I needed some caffeine. I rummaged through the fridge and pulled out a Vanilla Coke Zero. I cracked it open, tipped the beautiful contents in my mouth and instantly felt better. Ahhhh...that’s the stuff....

“I know what I can get you!” Tommy said triumphantly. He opened the cupboard, pulled stuff out, set them on a plate and placed it in front of me.

A plate full of Little Debbie snacks. He knows me well.


  1. Nice Hair -HA! I love it. My Hubby asked my Son what day it was (yesterday) and he said "Cinqo de Mayo?" Good luck when he's a teenager!

  2. That is sweet. At least you know he pays attention to what you like :)

  3. I love it.....he is trained well.....when in doubt compliment the hair!! Your Hubby will be so proud!
    Vanilla Coke Zero and little debbie treats....who needs IHOP!

  4. That's my kind of breakfast! Oh yeah, nice hair :)

  5. Breakfast of champions!!

    What a sweet letter and card. :) It's better than what I got, which was nothing. *sigh*

  6. I can barely type because I'm laughing so hard! I love the "you said I can't use the stove becuase I will set myslef on fire and die", OMG he sounds so much like my Tom, maybe it's the name! Great,great post! And I think Tommy made you a great breakfast!!!

  7. Nice- really, all things considered- namely their ages and the fact that Tommy is slightly hindered by virtue of his sex- they did just great!
    Hope your Mothers Day was great and the asshole with the bike blew their engine:)

  8. All this was so adorable. What sweet kids you have.

  9. You've trained him well, my dear :)

  10. Awesome Mother's Day breakfast and what a sweet letter!

  11. My family can all use the stove and I got warmed up leftovers for breakfast. You definitely win.

    Love the homeade cards!


  12. I just came here to say that I love the word pinafore. I know it just means an apron really but I like to say it out loud. Need to put on my Pinafore...get me a pinafore blah blah ..

    anywho a plate full of litte debbie snacks is pretty rad. (do people even say rad anymore)

    anywho You always make me laugh.

    and thanks for that.


  13. It's good to know that Tom doesn't need to be there to make sure you have a good mother's day. The kids and Debbie have you covered. And I totally get the coke in the morning thing. That's me, too.

  14. That's a great breakfast! Hope the rest of your day went as nicely!

  15. That's adorable. Your kids are too cute!

  16. Ha! Awesome!

    Happy Mothers Day!

  17. I would kill for a breakfast like that!! I had to ask my husband 5 times to go get me something. He ONLY got up because I was huffing and puffing and putting my sandals on to go get something myself.

    Happy Mother's Day!!

  18. Yum! You have taught your son how to keep any woman happy! That's awesome!

  19. happy MD to you. i had a similar one.

  20. Ah, reality...
    It sure seems so much more exciting in our dreams, LOL
    Hope the rest of your day was a great one. :)

  21. Ha! I love the breakfast!! So perfect.

    And what a sweet card! Makes my heart melt!

  22. Looks like some of the major food groups! :)
    I agree with the weekend etiquette!! Some A-wad in my neighborhood is up before 8a doing something loud and ridiculous! Argh!

  23. That's a smart kid, wish I had gotten Debbie cakes for breakfast. :)

  24. I'd totally take that breakfast in bed.

    I love the note and the card. I hope you had a wonderful Mother's day.

  25. You have trained Tommy well! He will make a great husband someday!

  26. Awwwww....nothing says I love you like Little Debbie ;)

  27. A man after my own heart <3 What Mama doesn't love a plate full of sugar first thing in the AM!!! The handmade cards are my favorite. So sweet.

  28. Ah, the breakfast of champions. :)

    Happy Mother's day!

  29. Awww, I love their cards!!! My son told me it was Sunday and he wanted bacon for breakfast. Oh, yeah, he made me something at schol but threw it out since he didn't know why this Sunday was any different from last Sunday. Hummph.

  30. Isn't it funny how those little cards make it all okay?! Love it!

  31. Now that Tommy is my kinda guy! How creative is that? Top it off with a sweet letter and a Natalie card and life is perfect!

    God bless ya and have a beautiful week sweetie!!!

  32. Love the cards! And yes, I agree, Tommy knows you so well. I would have loved that for breakfast :-)

  33. Looks like a good breakfast to me!

  34. I am totally loving your breakfast.

  35. Your kids did pretty damn well by you this year, all things considered! LOL

  36. Those cards are so sweet! I would have loved to eat that breakfast!

  37. That sounds like a pretty awesome Mother's Day, Little Debbie snacks and all. Completely agree about the caffeine. The morning doesn't begin correctly without it..or a correction..I don't begin well without it.

  38. Lucky! I would L-O-V-E a breakfast of Little Debbie snacks and caffeine...and I think I see a Star Crunch on that plate, which is my favorite LD snack!

    All in all, sounds like you had a good day. Those cards were priceless!

  39. What a perfect breakfast! LOVE the gifts from your kids. I'm annoyed for you at the dumbass & the motorcycle!

  40. Those letters are the best.

    I've decided I'm going to start cooking lessons now so they're ready to do a full-on breakfast for me by next year.

  41. Okay, now this is a great mommy's day. Little Debbie snacks, it doesn't get better then this.

  42. Sounds pretty ideal, actually. Happy Mother's Day, Amber!


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