So.
Mother’s Day is Sunday.
I decided to write a post where I list the things that I’d like on that day.
Do I think they’ll happen?
Probably not.
Still.
It’s nice to dream.....
I’d like....my kids to sleep in until noon. It’s been ages since I’ve slept in until noon. I can barely remember what it’s like.
I’d like...for Natalie to stop handing me her boogers. I don’t want them.
I’d like...my kids to not be so picky at dinner. It’s beef stew for craps sake, not dirt. I don’t appreciate Tommy gagging or Natalie shouting, “This beef looks like poop!” JUST EAT IT!
I’d like...for Tommy to stop talking about forceps and babies being pushed from vaginas in public.
I’d like...to not have to read Snow White to Natalie anymore. I’d over the irritating chick with the strange voice.
I’d like...to hide Natalie’s creepy Yo Gabba Gabba toys. I don’t like the way Muno (the one that looks like a diseased penis) stares at me with his one eye.
I’d like...to be able to read a book in two days like I used to. Instead it takes me two weeks, sometimes two months, because Natalie thinks it’s funny to take it from me.
I’d like...to have something that belongs to ME. Natalie got a hold of my iPod Touch and now her sticky fingerprints are all over the screen. I’m sorry, but it’s MINE.
I’d like...for Nick Jr to put on some new episodes of Wonder Pets. If I have to see the one with the bee on more time, I fear I might scream.
I’d like...to shop in peace, without someone begging for a toy or having a meltdown over cheese.
I’d like...to have things that aren’t stained or broken. My poor couch has been abused so much over the years. I don’t even want to talk about my table…
I’d like...to be able to use the bathroom in peace. I don’t need Natalie to observe me. I don’t need Tommy asking me things from the other side of the door. Can’t it WAIT?
I’d like...calories to not count on Mother’s Day. What? A girl can hope...
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I could get behind all of this!! Except I don't have an iPod Touch. I wish I were getting one for mother's day! So did Tom send you anything ahead of time?
ReplyDeleteMy kids are grown, but the sentiments are still pretty much the same. And yes, we can dream...
ReplyDeleteI stand behind you a gajillion percent. That would be a perfect Momma's day if all that could happen.
ReplyDeleteRest easy in that IF you don't get them ALL for Mother's Day, you will get them over the next few years!
ReplyDeleteI'd love for all this to happen for me too! And I am not worrying about calories on Mothers Day. Not happening!
ReplyDeleteWouldn't it be nice if that happend!! Yo Gabba Gabba completly creeps me out too! Great post. Have a wonderful Mothers day!!
ReplyDeleteThat sounds like the perfect Mother's Day to me, too.
ReplyDeleteAll this makes me so excited to have kids! :-) At least I have the "no privacy in the bathroom" part down.. our dog and cat insist on coming in the bathroom with us and if they can't get in they scratch at the door the whole time. So I never pee in peace either. :-)
ReplyDelete*waves magic wand* :D
ReplyDeleteI think Muno looks like a diseased penis too! I am glad someone else thinks so! And noon? Hell I'd take 8 a.m.
ReplyDeleteWhen I told my husband that I was disappointed that Curious George was a rerun, he said, "Well Blake doesn't care, and it's really for the kids." Ummm obviously the shows are for kids, but moms have to watch them too. And it's nice when I can't quote the entire show. Men don't get it.
ReplyDeleteThose all sound like reasonable requests. My husband pretty much does all those things too. Except the forceps and vagina talk. He's like a big kid.
ReplyDeleteI don't think you're asking for much! :o)
ReplyDeleteFYI, the bathroom thing doesn't get better... my daughter won't even knock. and she's 16!! I have to lock the door, then she gets all offended that I locked her out...
Preach it, sister.
ReplyDeleteA - to-the - MEN.
Yep, I think pretty much all of these apply to me too! And I probably won't get any of them for Mother's Day. But I guess we're used to it, right? :)
ReplyDeleteLmao about the Muno character. I'm gonna have to google this dude.
ReplyDeleteCalories don't count on your birthday so why should they count for mothers on Mother's Day?
I love all your posts - you are too funny! Ironically enough what it sounds like you want for Mother's day is to once again not be a mother...lol.
ReplyDeleteOmg, you're right! He does look exactly like a diseased penis. Eww!
ReplyDeleteIf it makes you feel better my Dad caught an episode of Yo Gabba Gabba and referred to one of the characters as a dancing hemorrhoid.
ReplyDeleteheeee
ReplyDeleteyour kids are a riot!!
that is all
I think I'll print this list out to show to Brian and the kids- sounds good to me.
ReplyDeletePerfect list! I think they made maybe ten Wonder Pets and just mix and match the stories. That at the same 10 episodes of Cailou are enough to drive me mad! I hide my iPod touch!
ReplyDeleteWow this is like a commercial for why not to have kids! lol I hope you get what you want and if you don't there is always a little NyQuil in the milk before bed - kidding. Swear, I am totally kidding.
ReplyDeleteI have a four month old. I'd settle for sleeping til 9!
ReplyDeletei hereby give you the rule that...
ReplyDeletecalories do NOT NOT count on mothers day!!
happy early mothers day!!
Oddly, my children are all adults(ish) and yet our lists are remarkably similar. They STILL talk to me through the bathroom door.
ReplyDeleteHappy Mother's Day Amber!
♥Spot
This list made me smile. I don't even have kids and I could totally get behind every single one of those.
ReplyDeleteMy husband talks to me through the bathroom door, too. He still hasn't quite gotten the concept of "there's an exhaust fan and a shower on, I can't hear you, and whatever it is can wait until I'm done." He tried to relay the entire story of Usama Bin Laden being killed through the bathroom door Sunday night (despite me telling him I'd be out in a few minutes), and all I got out of it was that a llama smoked pot with Stan. Awesome story, honey...now let me loofah already.
I love your list! It is hilarious ☺
ReplyDeleteCould not have made a better list myself.I registered my middle one for kinder today...should I allow myself to hope that next fall I may not be such a frequent viewer of Nick Jr.?! Nah...I have a 13 month old that loves Fresh Beat Band. But, maybe my iPad will actually be charged when I go to pick it up. :)
ReplyDeletethat list is perfect. i'd love a free day..
ReplyDelete*sigh* This is what I have to look forward too? ..I can't wait to start watching Yo Gabba Gabba! Sounds educational... :)
ReplyDeleteI hope you get at least one thing you want. Maybe Dad can wake up with the kids, and you can sleep until noon.
ReplyDeleteHappy Mother's Day!
I'll grant you the calorie one! In fact ... I'm taking it upon myself to grant that one to all mothers everywhere. For the rest ... you're on your on! Happy Days!
ReplyDeleteSo you noticed the odd look to Yo Gabba Gabba? I am so glad that the wonderpets were a quick flash in the pan at our house
ReplyDeleteI hope that all these come true for you! Have a happy Mother's Day even if they don't. :-)
ReplyDeleteFantastic wants...may your wishes come true.
ReplyDeleteGreat, now I'll never look at Yo Gabba Gabba the same....ewww!
ReplyDeleteI totally agree! I'm so sick of Yo Gabba Gabba and Wonder Pets that I could scream! Here is hoping that, at least, one or two of your wishes come true!
ReplyDeleteI agree with every single one of these 100%, and I'd like to add that what I'D like for Mother's Day is to be able to read this damn blog post in peace, without my kids slamming their hands on the keyboard (19-month-old) or asking me 1,000 times what I'm reading (4-year-old)!
ReplyDeleteHappy Mother's Day!
I hope you get at least some of them. I can remember my Mum getting a new three piece suite and carpet when I was about 7. Now I look back and understand why it was such a big deal to her. She just wanted something decent to sit on.
ReplyDeleteLMAO....she gives you boogers! OMG!
ReplyDeleteTerrific list. I hope your wishes come true, and have a happy mother's day regardless!
ReplyDeleteCalories really don't count on Mother's Day if you're a mother! It's a scientific fact!
ReplyDeleteHappy Mother's Day! I hope all your dreams come true some day!
ReplyDeleteWhen they become teens you can sleep as late as you want but don't rush that because that comes with a whole set of another issues. Happy Mother's Day.
ReplyDeleteOh Momma, you need a BREAK!! Big hugs! I know it seems like this time will last forever, but it won't and you'll actually look back and remember how awesome the kids were and wish you could go back!
ReplyDeleteMoms are kinda stupid that way, lol!
Happy Mother's Day!
I hope you get each and every one of these, but the truth is you'll be lucky to just get one of them. lol Hang in there! They will be teens before you know it and trust me, you will long for what your going thru right now and miss it terribly. lol Happy Mother's Day :)
ReplyDeleteI think you only have about 12 years until you can do those things, maybe a few more depending on Natalie.
ReplyDeleteOh that all sounds decadent!! Wishing you a happy mother's day!!
ReplyDeleteAll I can say is AMEN! Oh, if only we could put in our Mother's Day orders and actually get what we asked for!
ReplyDeleteI settle for just one day of no arguing between the kiddos. I'm so tired of being a referee.
Hope you have a wonderful Mother's Day and at least get a few of the things on your list!
Really, it doesn't sound like you're asking for too much :)
ReplyDeleteI've given up on having anything nice until my kids are gone. One is a teenager and I still can't trust her not to spill crap.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I'd like for my make-up to be just mine. With two teen age girls NOTHING is sacred!
That's a great list! I could just have e peaceful bathroom one and be fine. Hope you're having a great Mother's Day!
ReplyDeleteI cannot tell how much I agree with you, on everything!!
ReplyDeleteHope you got at least one thing on your list for Mother's day!
I read a book in two days just last week. It was so exciting. Of course, I am barely functioning now because I am so sleep deprived, but still. I hope you were able to pee in peace this Mother's Day.
ReplyDeleteLisaDay
Why share boogers? JDaniel likes to share too. I hope you ended up with a wonderful Mother's Day and get time to read a book.
ReplyDeleteThanks your for your kinds words celebrating my SITS day!
I want all of those things too!!! I hope you got at least a few of them. Hope you had a great Mother's Day!
ReplyDelete