Wednesday, March 20, 2013

My Dear Letters

Dear Justin Bieber,

Please put on a shirt and lay off wearing the gas masks everywhere. Perhaps you wanted to go incognito, which is fine, but at this point if someone spots someone in a gas mask they’ll probably go, “Justin Bieber, is that you?” since you keep doing it.

And PS. It’s called a belt.

Signed,
A-Tired-Of-These-Ridiculous-Celebrities,
Amber

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Dear Natalie,

You do not pack well. No, you cannot bring your Rapunzel, your wedding Rapunzel, Pascal, Cinderella, Snow White, crowns, play dresses, microphone, and plastic high heels. Pick ONE thing and you’ll see the rest later.

Signed,
She’d-Take-Her-Whole-Room-If-I-Let-Her,
Amber

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Dear Army Wives,

You have gotten awful. I still watch, since I’ve watched from the beginning. But the first episode of the new season bored me to tears. I know I was meant to be moved, but I was annoyed that most of the original cast members were leaving.

PS. Please get rid of Gloria. Her accent is annoying and sounds fake.

Signed,
A-Please-Improve-Or-Star-An-Air-Force-Wives-Show,
Amber

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Dear Tommy,

Please, please use your deodorant after track practice. I love you but holy crap, your pits can make someone keel over.

Signed,
An-Almost-Wants-To-Stick-Those-Air-Freshner-Circle-Things-On-Him,
Amber

10 comments:

  1. I don't mind Gloria, but Army Wives is getting bad. I can't believe they dragged Claudia Joy's death out for not one whole hour, but two. I don't want to give up, but I don't like the new cast to come. I'm giving it a chance, but I can't promise that will still be true if it doesn't get better!

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  2. Its like Justin Bieber wants to be the New Michael Jackson on the nutty scale.

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  3. YOU ARE HILARIOUS! Love these letters of yours!

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  4. I love the correspondence you keep. Awesome. Pretty sure every one of those letters should be published.
    Your Nobel peace prize awaits.

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  5. I don't get the whole Justin Bieber thing. Seriously. He's just not cool or good, or anything! Blech!

    I fell out of love with Army Wives a long time ago. I posted about it here: http://happy-jeannie.blogspot.it/2009/06/i-dont-love-you-anymore.html

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  6. I have a "take everything we own with us to the grocery store" kind of kid too! He's passing it on to his younger brother, too. :}

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  7. These are great! I've missed a couple seasons of Army Wives...Air Force Wives would be badass!

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  8. I can't stand Justin Bieber one bit. His diaper pants that he wears drives me bonkers and I sort of want to give him a binkie.

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  9. I'm kind of over Army Wives. I'm bored with it as well.

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Thanks for the comment!

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