Friday, June 13, 2014

Jurassic Park Fake Out

"Yay! A movie with cuddly dinosaurs!" Natalie say, grasping the Jurassic Park DVD case.

I almost told her the truth.

Then I thought it would be amusing for her to discover it for herself.

I'm mean that way.

We were having a movie night--when Tom is gone, I try to have these weekly. It's fun to introduce the kids to movies I enjoyed growing up.

So the movie started, and you know, right away someone is eaten by one of the dinosaurs.

Natalie immediately turned around and went, "These dinosaurs aren't cuddly! You faked me out!"

When this scene happened, she was not pleased:

"Is that t-rex going to EAT THE CHILDREN?" Natalie screeched.

"Maybe," Tommy answered. He had already seen the movie.

"I can't watch this if the children DIE!" Natalie bellowed and covered herself with a blanket.

"Is she going TO BE EATEN?" Natalie's muffled voice came from underneath the blanket. 

I finally had to tell her that the children would be fine. A little dirty, yes, but not eaten. Natalie came out of her blanket for a bit.

But then this part upset her:

"IS HE GOING TO DIE?" She was practically catatonic. 

"I already told you. The kids end up okay," I assured her.

"I'm going to shut my eyes now. Only because I'm tired. Not because I'm scared," Natalie insisted. 

She said this at least three times throughout the film.

It occurred to me that I might be freaking my kid out. But still, it was a good movie, and frankly, I knew she wouldn't go upstairs anyway. She'd insist on watching the entire thing.

Panic set in again here:

"Are they GOING TO EAT THE KIDS? ARE YOU FAKING ME OUT AGAIN? IS THIS ALL A JOKE?" Natalie bellowed into my ear. At this point, she was on my lap. 

(And I know some people might be all. "Didn't you just rant about tiny kids seeing adult movies?" Yes. I did. But I'd never take her to the movie theater to see a movie like this. I know better.)

"The kids will be fine," I promised.

She relaxed at this:

"See! The t-rex is nice! He saved them!" Natalie insisted. "I told you he was a nice animal."

When the credits rolled, she seemed confused:

"I don't understand. These dinosaurs are all nice on Dino Dan." 

I worried she might be too afraid to sleep. I tucked her in bed and asked if she was scared.

"No." Her eyes got all shifty. "But I'm going to sing Frozen songs. Just to be sure."

And the she proceeded to scream them all, much to the chagrin of Tommy, who was like, "She's NOT GOOD! Tell her stop singing because she's NOT GOOD!"

She insisted on having her Frozen CD play the entire night. 

So yes, I might have slightly traumatized my kid. But at least she knows the truth about dinosaurs.

Now when they learn about them in school, Natalie can be all, "They can be mean. There's a dinosaur that spits stuff in your face and puffs out his neck! My Mommy sometimes looks the same in the mornings if I try to talk to her too soon."


  1. Sometimes it's good not to shield the kids too much. Besides Jurassic Park is pretty benign compared to what my husband's ex allowed my step son to watch at the age of 4,5.

  2. I loved Jurassic Park growing up! Me and my brother watched it all the time and I think he was about Natalie's age when he saw it for the first time :-)

  3. Exposing them to certain things like this is fine at that age. My daughter--who's the same age as yours--would never watch Jurassic Park but she has watched Iron Man and some other movies like that with my husband (not for me). She's turning out okay.

  4. Haha! "Are you faking me out?"
    Your daughter is so funny and cute!!

  5. I think it's totally different watching a movie like this in a huge surround sound theater and watching it on your couch in your living room. I'm sure Natalie will be just fine!

  6. I love your posts. They always make me smile in the morning! I wish we lived near each other so that my niece could play with your daughter.

    I have all 3 nieces in town next week... I should do the same thing to them.

  7. HA HA HA!! I could totally see myself doing that exact same thing!!-Ashley

  8. I saw JP quite a few times in the theater after it came out, but I don't think I could watch it anymore. I totally forgot about the electric fence scene.

  9. That last line "sometimes my mom looks like that in the morning", hilarious! I loved that movie growing up, but the book is even better. Books 2 and 3 are FAR better than the 2nd and 3rd movies.

  10. Lol! I was seriously laughing out loud as I read this post!

  11. You faked her out! HAHA!

    God love her...welcome to life, honey.

    I scream "you faked me out" daily.


  12. HAHAHA! I love it. You are a mean mommy, and in my opinion, that's the best kind! lol so fun. That movie scared the shit out of me when I was a kid. I remember not being able to sleep at night because those tree shadows must have been dinos ready to get me.

  13. You can't shield too much.

    Besides...dinosaurs can be really mean.

  14. Believe it or not, this was the first movie that I saw in a movie theater...I was like 6 or 7, and my little sister was like 4. lol

  15. HaHa - I'm pretty sure that Natalie and I would enjoy the same type of movies!!

  16. I think my kids enjoyed that movie. I liked the book better personally. I can't watch scary stuff!

  17. Haha! Well played Mom, well played.

  18. So funny - pretty sure I did this to my kids growing up. It builds character :)

  19. haha! That last sentence.
    I saw it in the theater when I was 12 or 13 and I was traumatized. It was terrible for me. I can watch it now but only because I know how it all turns out.
    And it is pretty neat too..

  20. Did you have to create these .gifs yourself? I have no idea how to even do that! I think it's great you're getting to watch your childhood favorites with your children.

  21. My very best friend was watching "It" and "Tales from the Crypt" before she was two. She's the smartest, sweetest person I know, albeit a little cynical. Movies don't destroy kids, parents do. Jurassic Park is a classic! Thanks for the idea - my 8 year old has never seen it!

  22. If she wants cute and cuddly dinos she should see Baby The Secret of the Lost Land. I think thats the right title.

  23. I have a feeling she really enjoyed it! It's a great movie!

  24. i'm all for scaring the kids! isn't that why we have kids? that, and for putting things on them while they are asleep, like stickers, all of my hats, various fruits. ;)

  25. Hahahaha... to this day I stilllll can't watch Jurassic Park!

  26. Hahaha! This is hilarious! And I love how your son wanted her to stop singing because she's "not good." Brothers! Ha!

  27. LOL! Totally something I would have done with my kids. My grandkids, never, but the kids for sure.

  28. Haha! Poor thing but still really funny! Frozen songs make it better? Or worse?

  29. I was a really fearful child and I was never allowed to watch stuff like this. So I now believe in the opposite approach; expose them to it, watch it with them, let them embrace they scary stuff and learn that it's harmless. And in some cases even funny.

  30. both my kids would be terrified of that movie! I saw it as a kid, I must have been like 12 or 13 though. I remember being scared but also liking it. I bought the vhs!


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