I'm Not Ready For The Magic To End

I went upstairs to say goodnight and she was crying.

"What's wrong?" I asked, alarmed. Did she get hurt? Was she watching those videos again on animals that have been mistreated and need our help?

"I saw you," she sniffled, wiping her nose with the back of her hand. "I saw you putting the Easter Bunny stuff out." Her lower lip wobbled. A fat tear slipped down her cheek.

My heart dropped. I thought I had waited long enough. It was 10 PM. Yes, I knew my daughter was still awake. She's a bit of a night owl. But she also normally stays in her room.

Not this time.

Curiosity got the better of her. Perhaps she heard the sounds of bags wrinkling. Maybe she could hear me walking back and forth as I set out the items. It didn't really matter, I suppose. Because she had seen me.

She's nine. I know she's getting older. She's on the cusp of being a little kid and being a tween. Many kids her age no longer believe. Rumblings of the truth on Santa Claus have been going around since the second grade. Still, Natalie chooses to believe. Or maybe she wanted to believe. Maybe she's also aware that she's balancing between being a little kid and a tween, too.

I hesitated. I admit I was frozen as I stood there in her room. Do I tell her the truth? Or do I let the magic go on for a little bit longer?

"The Easter Bunny can't be everywhere at once," I found myself saying. The magic was staying. I wasn't ready to give up the magic. And from the way my daughter was looking at me, I don't think she was ready either. "So sometimes parents help out."

I waited. Maybe Natalie would accuse me of lying. If she did, I'd have to tell the truth.

"So that's why I see the same things at Target in my basket," Natalie said, nodding slightly. Understanding flashed behind her wet eyes.

"Yes," I answered, relieved. "That's why." I sat down beside her and she climbed into my lap, resting her head against my shoulder. Will she always climb into my lap when she's upset? I always think this now. I savor each time she does it, in case it's the last.

Some people thought I should have told her the truth. When I talked about this with some friends, some said, "Oh, my kids stopped believing in the Easter Bunny at six. You might as well let her know."

Maybe. But I want to hold onto the magic a little longer because I know what's coming. Boy troubles. Friendship troubles. Should I wear the pink lipstick or the red? Can I have the name brand shirt that everyone else has?

Yes. There is still time for the magic.

I'm glad Natalie still believes an umbrella can make her fly one day. Like Mary Poppins.

I smile because Natalie still believes she can dress up and become a character from a movie.

I'm happy Natalie believes her stuffed animals have feelings and enjoy the same food we do.

One day she'll know the truth about the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus. One day all her costumes and toys might be in a box in the closet.


But that day isn't today.

And I'm glad.

Hey, It's Okay Tuesday!

I got this idea from Glamour magazine. They have a section called Hey, It’s Okay and will list a bunch of things to be okay about. You're welcome to join in and do something like this on your blog. Doesn't have to be on a Tuesday either. Just make sure you link up and that the post you link up is a Hey, It's Okay Post. Grab the button if you'd like!
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--To dread dyeing eggs with the kids, but do it because they like it. However, when I left the room, Natalie decided to super glue the wrap onto the egg because she couldn't get it to stay. Then it got stuck on her fingers, so that was fun.


--To have stayed in my sweatpants most of Easter and then was in my pajamas by 6.


--To not care if Daryl dies on The Walking Dead. Some people were freaking out over the last episode. I like Carol more. I guess we'll see what happens on the finale on Sunday.


--To have thought it was funny that parents were giving their kids strategies to get the eggs at the base egg hunt. I just told Natalie, "Don't get trampled. Don't trample others."


--To get irritated when Natalie's friends are all, "You're still in a carseat?" NO, it's a booster seat, and it keeps her safe. (I ranted about this in a blog post here.)


--To have been able to review a burger press from Cave Tools here. We had some delicious burgers.


--To think it was funny that Natalie really wanted a Grumpy Cat balloon for her birthday:

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9 Things I Thought All Kids Went Through Growing Up As A Military Kid

I'm a military spouse. But I also grew up as a military kid. My mother was in the Air Force and retired as a Colonel. Growing up, I lived in a lot of fantastic places, and they are the following: McGuire AFB, NJ, Comiso, Italy (since closed), Ramstein in Germany, Rhein-Main in Germany (closed now), Travis AFB, CA, SHAPE, Belgium (where I met my husband), and Hanscom AFB, MA.

There are some things that I assumed ALL kids knew or went through...

1. I thought all kids moved every couple of years. Sometimes I went to school on base. But sometimes I went to a school closest to base, which meant kids who weren't affiliated with the military also attended. I would ask where all they've lived and and would be surprised when they'd go, "Huh? I've lived here my whole life. I haven't even been on an airplane before!" This was also a foreign concept to me. By the age of 10, I had been on multiple airplanes.


2. I thought everyone had to stand for the National Anthem before seeing a movie. If you see a movie on base, the National Anthem will play instead of previews. Everyone must stand. I remember seeing a movie with a friend off base and when the previews came on I whispered, "When does the National Anthem start?"


3. I assumed all kids stayed home with their dad. Back in the 80s and 90s, it wasn't as normal for a father to stay home with the kids. But my Dad did. I thought it was weird when I'd see other mothers at home. I said, "What's your Mom doing here? Why isn't she at work? Where's your Dad?" a number of times when I was tiny. My Dad even had a newspaper article written about him on being a stay at home dad.


4. Wait. Your mother's picture isn't in places like the bowling alley? My mother was the commander of squadrons, so her face would be in places I'd go. Like the bowling alley on base. I remember being embarrassed as a teenager, especially when kids would be like, "Hey, isn't that your mom?"


5. I thought it was normal to not have family nearby. Some of my non-military friends would be like, "My Grandma lives a block away. My aunts live in the town over." We'd usually have to fly to see family or they'd visit us. It didn't happen too often, especially when we were in Europe, but I felt like I knew them enough.


6. I assumed everyone said "all over" when asked where they were from. Even now when people ask, I'll say "all over." I didn't grow up in one place. I grew up in Italy. Germany. California. Belgium. So many places.

7. Didn't everyone know what a hail and farewell was? I had to attend several, especially when it was time for our family to move on. (It's when you say goodbye to someone moving.) It was boring, I won't lie. You listened to people speeches. Mom usually got something. Then you had to stand in a line and shake hands with a smile. My favorite part was the cake at the end of it all.


8. Since I was in Europe for most of my childhood, I was shocked when I went to a restaurant and there was actually ICE in my drink. AND I got free refills. Is this normal? This happened when we got to California. I couldn't believe how big the soda glasses were. I was used to the tiny ones in Europe. With no ice. And if you asked for ice over there, you basically had a large sign over your head that said AMERICAN.


9. Huh? These are normal commercials. Where are the cheesy ones from AFN? In Europe, you got ONE American channel called AFN--or the Armed Forces Network. AFN didn't have the normal commercials of the States. They had commercials that reminded you not to litter and not to have fraud, waste, and abuse. When I got to the States again, I actually LIKED watching the commercials because they were...normal. (Bored? Go to YouTube and type in AFN commercials.)


Growing up as a military gave me all sorts of amazing experiences that I wouldn't change. Sometimes I did wish I could stay in one spot for more than three years, but then I wouldn't have met all the people that I did (including my husband.) Not many kids can say they got to live in Italy, Germany, and Belgium.

But I can.

Hamburger Press With Built In Dimpler From Cave Tools Review

**I received a burger press in exchange for a review. My opinions are my own.**


The weather is getting consistently nice here.

And when it gets consistently nice, I like to grill out.

And by I, I mean my husband. I do supply all the meat though.

I got a hamburger press with built in dimpler from Cave Tools that I wanted to try out.

It was simple enough: you bought meat and pressed it into the silicone tray:

Then you press down the lid and it looks like this:

They came out easily.

We had them with the round burgers and hot dogs.

They were pretty tasty.

You can buy your own Burger Press on Amazon or on the Cave Tools website. You can save 15% with the code LZEN8T4G.


To learn more about Cave Tools products, you can check out their Facebook, Twitter, Google +, and Pinterest accounts.

9 Things About My Nine-Year-Old

My daughter Natalie turned nine last Saturday and I'm still in disbelief. She's growing up fast, but she's still my little girl. She'll always be my little girl.

Here are some things about her.

1. She has an amazing imagination. Sometimes she gets her brother to play along.

2. She still sits on my lap. She'll always be welcome on my lap. I don't care if she's 20 or 55. My lap is hers, always.


3. She wears her costumes out to play. Some kids tell her it's "babyish" but I'm glad she ignores them. Will she always ignore them? I don't know.

4. She listens to a lot of music that makes my ears hurt. (Ariana Grande, for one.)


5. She has a "boyfriend," but it's innocent. They write each other little notes and chase each other at recess. He gave her this for Valentine's Day:

6. Her current favorite toys are Shopkins, Beanie Boos, Littlest Pet Shop, My Little Pony, and American Girl stuff. She's also still into stuffed animals. She has sooo many stuffed animals.


7. She thinks she needs a bra. (She doesn't.)

8. She loves to climb things. I worry one day she's going to fall and break something. Maybe she will. But I imagine she won't regret it. I can picture her saying, "But I made it to the top! That was my goal!"

9. She still needs me. She's able to do a lot on her own now, but she still wants me around. She listens to my advice--she doesn't always take it, but it warms my heart that she asks me for it. I hope she always does. I know she might start to pull away from me--it's normal, it happens--but I also hope she remembers that I'm here for her. Through mean girl episodes, through period issues, through boy troubles...

I'm here, precious girl. I'm here.

It's Official! We're Moving To Lackland AFB in Texas.

Months ago Tom was like, "I might get vectored to be a TI (training instructor) at Lackland AFB in Texas."

Vectored, for all you non-military people, basically means switching jobs. He's currently in security forces.

Tom told me not to get my hopes up because it probably wouldn't happen.

I got my hopes up anyway. After all, we've been at this current base for nearly FIVE years. We're long overdue for a move. Plus, my family lives in Texas. I could actually be near family! It's a foreign concept to me.

Weeks later, after multiple interviews and going through psychological tests to ensure he was sane, Tom was like, "Oh, by the way, I got selected to be a TI."

I couldn't believe it. We were actually getting what we wanted in the Air Force? This never happens!

But then we had to play the "wait for the orders" game. For you non-military people, orders are what makes the move official. And sometimes even THOSE can get canceled.

So waited.

And waited.

And waited.

Finally, on Tuesday, Tom was like, "I got my orders!"

This means we can start making plans. Set up when the movers will be here. Set up when the housing people walk through the house and lets us know how much money we owe. (Our carpets are scary. Thanks cats.) Set up when we'll move into TLF (temporary living facility..or basically, a hotel room.) Set up when we can LEAVE THIS BASE.

Now I have to go through all our crap and guys? We have a lot of crap. Tom put down the full amount that he's allowed to move--11,000 pounds--and I bet we have OVER that at the moment. I'm a pack rat. And I hoard books.

Texas, here we come!

Hey, It's Okay Tuesday!

I got this idea from Glamour magazine. They have a section called Hey, It’s Okay and will list a bunch of things to be okay about. You're welcome to join in and do something like this on your blog. Doesn't have to be on a Tuesday either. Just make sure you link up and that the post you link up is a Hey, It's Okay Post. Grab the button if you'd like!
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--To have had fun over Spring Break. We went to Dallas and checked out the aquarium, medieval times, and the American Girl store. I'll share posts on those places at some point.


--To have gone to see Zootopia over the weekend. It was good. What was not good were the two loud kids in front of us. If your kids can't sit still throughout a movie, please don't bring them. These kids kept standing in their seats and shouting things.


--To be glad Natalie had a fun ninth birthday.


--To have finally watched the series finale of Downton Abbey. Honestly, it was was a tad boring, but I'll still miss it.


--To be flattered that my post from yesterday Why I Didn't "Go Home" When My Husband Deployed has been shared a number of times. Thank you to all who shared it!


--To have a busy weekend ahead. We're going to the base easter egg hunt, plus Tom has his squadron easter egg hunt.


--To love this shirt I got for Natalie to wear on her birthday. (It says The Sass Is Strong With This One) You can buy it from IzzyBTees on Etsy.

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Why I Didn't "Go Home" When My Husband Deployed

Whenever my husband had to deploy, I was asked by friends if I planned on going home until he returns. I know my parents would welcome me with open arms and I appreciate it. I appreciate them.

I remember when Tom went to Korea for a year, people were surprised to learn that I wasn't packing up my kids and going home.

So why is "going home" not for me?

Let me explain.

1. I feel like I am home.

My home is with my family--as in my husband and children. Maybe I feel this way because I was a military brat. We were always moving around so I didn't grow up in one home. Even when my husband is gone, it's still my home, with my belongings.



2. I like my own things.

As in, my television. Yes, I watch a lot of ridiculous shows on it. My father would not like these ridiculous shows. He has his own schedule of things he watches every night. There is no place for Real Housewives. There is a TV upstairs, but it's in the same room where my son sleeps, so I'd be missing a lot of my programs. Yes, I would watch them online but it's not the same. I also like having my books around me.


3. I need junk food.

My parents don't appreciate junk food as I do. Of course they indulge, but not as much as I do. They mean well, but I can imagine comments being made, "Another candy bar? How about I cut you up some carrots?"


4. I didn't have a baby.

Whenever my husband left, my kids were at least over the age of three. Maybe if I had a baby I'd have considered going home, but honestly, I doubt it. I just really like my possessions and space too much.


5. My kids would have to leave their schools and enter a new one.

Sometimes when my husband left my kids weren't always in school yet. But when they were, it didn't make sense to pull them out of a school and away from their friends. I'd want my kids to have stability.


6. I'm able to visit my family. 

I might not go live with them, but we do visit. So it's not like I'm completely without family.



7. I have my own schedule of how I like to do things.


If I moved in with my parents, this might be messed up. I would no longer be the only adult so I'd have to respect their wishes. When my husband is gone, I already have enough on my mind so I'd be irritated if I couldn't do things the way I wanted to do them.


8. I can manage.

With the help of friends, I'm always able to survive deployments. Of course I have moments when I feel like I can't do it--but my friends are the ones who help remind me that yes I CAN do it. Or they'll invite me over for chocolate and cake. Chocolate and cake can fix anything. (And a lovely cocktail can help as well..)

Did you go home when your husband deployed? Or if your husband is not in the military but has gone away due to work, would you go home? 

When Your Daughter Turns Nine...

When your daughter turns nine, you wonder how time could fly by so quickly.

One minute she's this:

And the next minute, she's this.

You're also aware that she's growing up. That next year she'll be in the double digits. Two whole hands. 


So you start to wonder if it'll be the last time she dresses up....

You start to wonder if it'll be the last time she thinks dolls are cool....

You start to wonder if this will be the last time she calls you Mommy....

You start to wonder if this will be the last time she holds your hand in public....

You start to wonder if she'll want to do the Bippity Boppity Boutique the next time we go to Disney World. Will she still have the same expression of intense joy when she sees herself done up for the first time? Or will it be no big deal?

You start to wonder if this will the last time she'll let you dress her for a holiday....

Will there be a warning? Or will these things suddenly stop?

I don't know the answers. She is my first girl. My only girl, who still calls me Mommy when her friends are around and who reaches for my hand when we're at the store without embarrassment.

Yes.

It's her last year in single digits.

And I intend to enjoy every moment of it.