Friday, April 29, 2016

When Being A Military Family Gets Tough

I usually write upbeat posts about being in the military because for the most part, I love this life. I know my military kids will be stronger because of it. I know my kids will get to experience so many different things that other kids never will.

However, there are definitely a lot of sad aspects to being with someone in the military. Here are some things we've gone through that have squeezed my heart.

1. "Why does Clara get to have her daddy all the time?"  

My daughter once asked this. She goes to school with kids who aren't part of military life and when she was really little, she didn't understand why some daddies were always around and why hers had to go away so much.

2. Sometimes the fights aren't nice.

I once said to Tom in a sarcastic way, "It sure is awesome raising these kids alone most of the time," when I found out he was deploying again. I apologized soon after, but sometimes this life can cause excess stress.

3. It's difficult to plan.

Every time we've planned a vacation, it always gets ruined by a deployment. Tom was supposed to be able to come to Disney World--he even got the go ahead that he'd be good to go so I booked tickets--and then he was told, oops, sorry, we need you to deploy.

4. You hear people bashing the military at times and it takes all your strength not to throw your shoe at them.

They don't get it. They'll never get it. I once heard a man ranting about how the military got a discount and he, as a plumber, did not. Well sorry dude, risk your life for your country and maybe you'll get a damn discount.

5. "Wait Daddy! Say goodbye! Are you leaving for a long time again?"

After Tom got back from being in Korea for a year, Natalie was afraid whenever he'd leave the house. She assumed he'd be gone for months and months. Watching your little girl chase her daddy out to the driveway and attach herself to his leg? It stings.

6. PCSing can be heartbreaking, especially if you have friends.

I hate saying goodbye to great people. But at the same time, I know I can stay in contact with them via Facebook. It is sad when your kids cry and say, "But what if I can't make new friends at the new base?" However, each time my kids have been able to meet new people fairly quickly. Well. My daughter can. She talks to everyone. My son has autism so he's quiet.

7. Getting used to a whole new base is tricky.

..especially if you get lost easily, as I do. See, when you're at a place for a few years you get to know the stores around you. The workers become your friends. They know exactly how you like your drink prepared or what sort of items you're looking for when you enter their store. When you arrive at a new base, you have to find "your" people all over again. You have to find all your favorite stores. This all eventually happens, but usually by the time you find your groove it's time to move again.

8. Yay! Let's pack and unpack all over again.

I hate PCSing only because we have a lot of stuff. I could get rid of said stuff, but I love my stuff. So packing up can take a bit. Unpacking takes even longer. Living out of boxes is never any fun. And if you don't know where you'll be living when you arrive at the new base? It can get chaotic. You can be stuck in a hotel for over a month and when you have kids, it's rough.

Yes, military life can have it's downs. But it mostly has ups. I find the good outweighs the bad. I'll always love this life and when we go through difficult times?

Well, there's chocolate.


  1. Packing and unpacking sucks! Super lame.
    I hope the kids make tons of new friends in San Antonio. It's such a great city. You're going to have a blast!

  2. I moved several times as a kid and it did make me stronger in the end. But if I never have to move again until it's into my retirement home, I'll be good! Hang in there. Hugs to your kids in their new surroundings.

  3. The shock deployments are the hardest to process. Life is turned upside down. All I want to do is scream but what does that achieve? It's so tough on Mom's and kids. Breaks my heart. I can deal alone but when there's littles relying on you it's just a thousand times harder.

    1. Yes! It is very difficult. I hate to see my kids upset.

  4. At least there's chocolate.
    There are definitely a lot of tough things there for sure. You're a strong family!

  5. I moved once as a child and it was very traumatic for me. We are contemplating moving now and even though we want to stay in the same town, it's still stressful for me to think about leaving our house. I can't imagine doing it every few years!

  6. I agree, the good outweigh the bad...but the bad parts still suck so hard.

  7. Amen! It's not always roses but it's worth it in the end.

  8. Totally hear you. It's hard being the only parent for most of the time! And my daughter is starting to get to an age where she realizes Dad is gone long and she gets sad about it. Breaks my heart.

  9. It can definitely be tricky but I definitely think the good outweighs the bad!

  10. My heart goes out to you and your family - I couldn't do it myself but I really appreciate you families who can! The idea of my child being afraid for his dad to leave just breaks my heart. I will be saying more prayers for mili families. Thanks for your sacrifice! xo Amanda

  11. It's not an easy life but you handle it with so much grace..!


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