Hey Parents, Your Hatchimal Isn't Cursing

Good grief.

Over the past few days I've seen several stories about parents complaining about Hatchimals. You remember Hatchimals, right? They were impossible to find during the holidays so some parents forked over over $200 so their angel could have it. I personally would never. I lucked out and found one at regular price. ($59)

My daughter was thrilled to get a Hatchimal. She had been hoping for one but if she hadn't received one, she'd have moved on because she knows she won't get everything she asks for. Santa is busy. Santa can't always get everything on the list. Santa is tired.

Now. Some parents are all, "The Hatchimal wouldn't come out of the egg."

Did they expect it to POP out of the egg? Because it doesn't DO that. You have to pull it out. It's a toy that's under $100 (if you were sane, that is.) If you were expecting the toy to leap out on its own, sorry, but it's not gonna happen if it's under $100.


My daughter took care of the egg before the Hatchimal came out. You do various things with it. Rub it. Rock it. Talk to it.

About a half hour later, a song will be heard and the thing will start pecking. Again. PECKING. It won't leap out on its own. Yes, your kid will most likely have to help getting the egg off. You'll find egg bits all over the place.

Then you have to PULL the Hatchimal out. There is plastic around it you have to cut away. I took a video when it was about to come out of the egg:




My daughter had a BLAST taking care of her egg and then finding out what her Hatchimal looked like.

Then some stories emerged that the Hatchimals are cursing. I mean, MAYBE this could happen because it does seem like the thing will mimic you. So if you curse...it might curse. But it doesn't do it on its own. It blabbers away, but I have yet to hear a shit or fu*k me emerge as some are claiming and if it does, it means it was in the kitchen with me while I was cooking.


I'm thinking some parents are complaining because they're PISSED that they forked over $200 and now it's a cursing paperweight. Or so they say. Maybe they're hoping the company will be like, "Oh man, sorry, here's a refund." Or, "here's a new Hatchimal.." because let's be honest, the best part is when it comes out of the egg.


Look, if your kid has fun with it, who cares? My daughter plays with hers now and again. If it won't shut up, she turns it off. I don't think it's even made it to the kid stage. It might forever be stuck on toddler. Still, she loves it. She lugs it around (off), and calls it Pecky. It joined us for tea the other day.


Come on. Let's start 2017 right. Less complaining.

More cupcakes.

Deal?