I'm a military spouse who has been blogging for many years now. I have a lot of friends who write military blogs, and I always enjoy reading their posts. But there are some groups and bloggers out there who seem to enjoy mocking military spouses. They have pages dedicated to putting them down, and I seriously do not get it.
I've noticed there seems to be a bunch of stereotypes about military wives, and I wanted to clear them up. Not that I think any of you believe them, but you know, just in case.
1. The Stereotype: All wives are walking around with Coach and Michael Kors purses hanging from their arms, purchased by their husbands or behind their husband's back.
Newsflash: My purse came from Target. It was on clearance. Some women do enjoy Coach and Michael Kors products, but guess what? Many of them bought the bag with their money.
2. The Stereotype: Military wives constantly pressure other wives to buy their stuff.
Newsflash: Not all wives sell stuff. I don't. Many of the wives that do are respectful and I don't mind buying their products. I have encountered some pushy ones, and I've directed them to my blog post on how to get people to buy from their direct sales business. But most are friendly, respectful, and professional.
3. The Stereotype: Military wives don't work. They sit around all day stuffing their faces. It's why they're so fat.
Newsflash: I do stay at home, but I earn money with my writing. I don't stuff my face all day--only for about an hour or so, because I do enjoy Little Debbie snacks. But I exercise. Military wives come in all shapes and sizes, and that's perfectly fine. What's it to you anyway?
4. The Stereotype: As soon as the husband deploys, military wives are hooking up with someone else.
Newsflash: My husband has deployed multiple times, and he's gone to Korea for a year. I didn't cheat. I had two children at home and quite frankly, I'd have been too exhausted to cheat. Where do these ladies find the time? If you watch Teen Mom, do not look at Kailyn as a model military spouse because she sucked. She did cheat on her husband. But I promise, many wives are loyal.
5. The Stereotype: Military wives pop out a new baby every year.
Newsflash: My kids are five years apart. I did it for my sanity. The military wives with lots of kids have a different kind of sanity than I do. They're not walking around asking you for money, so how is it your business? Some people want a big family. Some people don't.
6. The Stereotype: Ooo Tricare! Women just marry military guys for the insurance.
Newsflash: Tricare isn't that great. Yeah it's better than most insurance plans, but seriously, the care at base hospitals isn't that amazing. It can take ages to even get an appointment. When you arrive, you're usually waiting well past your appointment. Equipment can sometimes appear to be ancient. So no. Trust me. We aren't lusting over Tricare.
7. The Stereotype: Those dang military wives are wasting my tax dollars! Everyone is on WIC!
Newsflash: WIC is there to help. I was on WIC when I was first married. We had very little money and I wasn't ashamed to accept the help. However, after a few years, I stopped because I felt if we could afford to go out to eat, we could afford to get our own cheese and milk. I also give back to my community as a thank you for the help they gave us. But guess what? Not everyone is on WIC.
8. The Stereotype: All military wives do is shop all day and put their family in debt. Then they're whining about not being able to pay the bills.
Newsflash: Um, no. I've always been financially responsible. For the longest time we had those flip cell phones. We had a 32 inch TV. Our cars were old. I always use coupons and buy items when they are on sale. I know what we can afford. Yes, there are some families who ARE in debt, but it's not a huge amount. Many of the military members who are in debt are young airmen.
For all the years I've been a military spouse, I've encountered mostly kind women. Yes, you get your bad eggs, but most of us are simply trying to do what is best for our families. We're waiting for our husbands to come home from deployments. We have our own jobs. Our own lives.
And we're not all walking around with Coach purses.
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I've always admired military wives. It is very hard to raise a child by yourself while your husband is away. Not to mention the stress of always worrying for your spouses safety. So those people who stereotype and even go out of their way to make a group just to bash other people are really messed up and need to get a life.
ReplyDeletePeople love to make stereotypes to feel better about themselves. I wouldn't have thought any of these things of any military spouses, it is tough for any spouse to be supportive of a role that takes their significant other away from home often and requiring regularly relocating. It also makes it challenging for the other one to carry long term employment, doesn't make one lazy. Way to stand up for yourself and others!
ReplyDeleteI don't work and sit on my ass all day stuffing my face with bonbons or frolicking on the beach. I call this "life sabbatical." Haha and I effing earned it after 10 years dealing with divorce clients!!
ReplyDeleteThere are stereotypes everywhere.....like all lawyers are assholes. And they ARE. Hahahahaha.
Love your purse and your humor. I know more broke military spouses than anything. It takes time to make money.
ReplyDeleteStereotypes are just so stupid. I am a stay at home mom so I get a lot of stereotypes. Such as I am lazy, get to watch tv all day, get to sleep in(i wish), and just spend all my husband's money (I do on bills smh).
ReplyDeleteIt's takes courage to be military spouse and efficiently manage everything single-handedly at times.. I appreciate your willpower and like reading your blog regularly.
ReplyDeleteI respect Military wives so much! Sometimes there are days of togetherness & yes some favours (very genuine ones) but I see that most of the time they have to handle things single handedly..babies, chores, work.. Its really a hard thing..
ReplyDeleteI admire Military wives and its sad to see that people hold these type of stereotypes but you're doing a great job :)
ReplyDeleteTo be honest, I don't know many 'military wives' as such and so I didn't even realise that there were so many stereotypes around them. Stereotypes suck in general, so good on your for clearing those up. Some of them are quite funny actually, and shows how narrow-minded some people are.
ReplyDeleteI didn't realize that some people held these views about military wives. I wouldn't pay them any mind. Some people can just be mean.
ReplyDeleteMy hubby is retired Air Force, so I totally get it. Non military people just don't get it.
ReplyDeleteLOVE your purse! I spent 6 years as a military wife and in those 6 years we avoided debt...we didn't even own a TV! I think the "dependapotamos" stereotype is the one that got to me the most. I never once met a military wife that just sat on the couch all day watching TV and stuffing their face with food while taking advantage of their husband's pay and benefits. So what if there are spouses out there that do that? It's not our place to judge them and how they choose to spend their lives. Great post!
ReplyDeleteI think you should all walk around with whatever kind of purse you want. If I had a Hermes bag, I'd rock it like a boss (that's my dream purse). I may be living under a rock, but I've never heard anything bad about military wives. I've always admired and respected all branches of our military and especially military wives.
ReplyDeleteYou know how they say, haters gonna hate, they are just rude, ignore them.
ReplyDeleteI have never heard of these stereotypes. Maybe it is more of a "close proximity to a base" kind of thing. I know it is hard work taking care of your kids on your own too.
ReplyDeleteI haven't heard about these stereotypes until I moved to an area with a large navy base last year. Now I hear it. People need to stop judging. Military wives and families go through so much. It's not easy.
ReplyDeleteOh my goodness! I didn't know about any of these stereotypes for military wives. It's terrible that a group of unsavory people would be spreading such falsehoods about military wives. Please ignore them. Military families are the backbone of this country and should be honored.
ReplyDeleteThis is such a great post, I have to admit I don't think I've heard of any of those stereotypes around military wives (but then I am in the UK) but good on you for getting the truth out - it is sad we automatically think things about people.
ReplyDeleteYES!!! Oh my gosh you took every single thought in my head and wrote it down! The stereotypes drive me crazy!!
ReplyDeleteWow, sounds like the US army wives get taken the pee out a bit, here in Britian they are seen as heroes and no one sterotypes them. If it happens, it is very very rare
ReplyDeleteThis is discouraging to read. Thank you for sharing and for your husband's service!
ReplyDeleteIt seems society took a lot of negative connotations, rolled them into a ball, and applied it to military wives, for whatever reason. I never had any idea that these stigmas even existed, and I'm sorry you need to push against it. However, thank you for sharing your story and bringing up these conversations, which I'm sure will open eyes. Good luck!
To be 100% honest, I had never had any of these thoughts about military wives. The only thing i might I thought was how hard it would be to know that your husband is deployed somewhere dangerous. But nothing else. I can't understand why people have such stereotypes. xx corinne
ReplyDeleteGreat post! I hate all the stereotypes.
ReplyDeleteI had no idea that there were a lot of stereotypes about military wives. Thanks for clearing them up.
ReplyDeleteI love this post! Honestly we as a society should stop stereotyping EVERYONE! It's 2017, enough is enough. Both of my parents were in the Navy (although they separated when I was three so I was only raised by my mom) and when I was a baby we lived on military bases and people often assumed that most of the military wives didn't work but that wasn't the case at all.
ReplyDeleteI totally get it! Stereotypes are awful and serve no purpose no matter what. My experience is a bit different than yours. I listen to heavy metal. People tend to think a certain way when they find out and place me in a certain category. I get the "you dont look like a metalhead" a lot .... :)
ReplyDeleteI really don't see the reason for stereotypes. For me it's just another form of discrimination on the reverse if that makes any sense.
ReplyDeleteI'd never heard any of these stereotypes before and I'm shocked by how judgmental some people are! I've always thought a person would need a lot of strength to be a military spouse and I find that admirable.
ReplyDeleteI had no idea these stereotypes existed. Military families sacrifice so much every day- we should all be grateful for their service.
ReplyDeleteI have never heard of a lot of these stereotypes, I can't believe people believe these things and that everyone is the same.
ReplyDeleteSo sad. And annoying. I chalk it up to people having nothing better to do with their lives than complain and make up stories about people so that they feel better.
ReplyDeleteThe only Coach purses I own are the ones my Mother-In-Law buys for me to spoil me. I've held a steady job since I graduated from college. We have one kid. Cheating has never even been a thought. And sure I have a little winter weight hanging on, but that's just more of me to love ;)
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ReplyDeleteAs a Veteran Military wife, I have so much to say about all of these ridiculous stereotypes! In an attempt to keep it short, let me just say to the people who write those pages and put this nonsense out there: IF YOU HAVEN'T LIVED IT, YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IT'S ALL ABOUT. Military life was NOT easy! MONEY: Not sure where all the money stereotypes come in, because last time I checked, we were barely making it off the money my husband made- that's one reason why we needed the WIC. The fancy purses you see might have been gifts or presents for occasions, or those families 1) don't know how to manage money or 2) REALLY know how to manage money to be able to afford fancy purses. WORKING: Many work from home and when you're moving frequently, it's hard to have a long-standing career. The constant movement keeps you from advancing in your career and sometimes even being vested in your 401K. If you don't have a profession, most of the jobs that you CAN get aren't always worth the cost of daycare. KIDS: It's none of anyone's business who has how many kids. It's a personal choice, and there are plenty of non-military families with a lot of kids. TRICARE: I've had such horrible experiences with Tricare that I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. Believe me, it's no perk. SELLING STUFF: What's wrong with trying to make money for your family? Direct sales is portable and can be done from home, so it's a good business for military wives. CHEATING: I've never cheated on my husband or even thought about it- especially while he was deployed and I was nervous for him and missed him to death. Military Wives don't need to be judged. We have enough going on as it is.
ReplyDeleteWhat is WIC? Why would people care?
ReplyDeleteI must admit I came here on defense mode. Because there are a lot of military wives that stereotype other military wives. But you were spot on! Thank you for this post. Many do not understand what we go through. And some done even realize that not all of us are on Tricare and pay for our own insurance. And yes we have 4 kids, all spaced 4 years and non of them conceived in R&R. I could go on but you know so I'm good now lol
ReplyDeleteStereotypes do really exist. I sure hope that your post clear everything about military wives.
ReplyDeleteThank you for speaking out. It annoys me that some people can be judgmental and stereotype military wives to be this and that. Some comments can be nasty, just don't mind them. These people who judge are just probably wasting their time away watching soaps.
ReplyDeleteI grew up in a Military family and have heard these Stereotypes. I have many friends that have a spouse in the Military and none of them are like this.
ReplyDeleteThank you for clearing the air. Honestly, stereotyping of any kind sucks and no, I'm not perfect, because I have caught myself doing it too. It needs to just go away though, because EVERYONE is different.
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately, people think that stereotypes are the truth. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings.
ReplyDeleteXOXO //SINCERELY OPHELIA | NYC Petite Fashion Blogger
I had no idea that there were groups that were mocking military spouses :( That is so unfair. They have no right to judge and tell you who you are meant to be x
ReplyDeleteThose stereotypes are ridiculous. I do praise the military wives because it's not easy to be a military spouse.
ReplyDeleteomg I didn't know all this stereotypes about military spouses. You made such a good point.
ReplyDeleteI never knew you faced all these stereotypes of military wives. I know a few and none fit these molds!
ReplyDeleteI had no idea that these stereotypes existed around Military Wives but that's awful! I have the greatest respect for you, honestly, I can imagine that it can't be easy and everyone is different anyway!
ReplyDeleteEllie
I didn't know about these. I think there are just people who like spreading their own rumors and believe what they want. People are never alike even if they fall in the same group.
ReplyDeleteHeck, I was on WIC!
ReplyDeleteI've never heard of any of these and I would never believe any of them!
It is terrible what people can say and how they can make people feel. I think some people in general just are rotten, mean and spread horrible rumors.
ReplyDeleteI agree in all of these. My husband is a Navy vet and although he is an expensive gift giver, I never wanted an expensive purse, for what, really.. Where in Korea did your husband stationed, we lived in Chinhae for 2 years.
ReplyDeleteWow! I had no idea such controversy with military wives was taking place. I must say when it comes to mommy shaming there seems to be all types.
ReplyDeleteHa, I'm a Navy Vet, and my husband is the military spouse, and the stereotypes surrounding THAT makes me laugh like a loon! I'm certainly learning to really step back before I say something I shouldn't to those folks who spread the stereotypes. It's so draining!
ReplyDeleteI have quite a few friends who are military wives. I think the problem is people label them as military wives and not just wives. Women come in all shapes and sizes, and with all kinds of habits and baggage. If we label everyone by what their spouse does, it makes no sense. :)
ReplyDelete🙌🏻 This!
DeleteI had no idea there where all of these stereotypes about military wives. I've always thought that it must be really hard to be a single parent when your husband deploys and I have always admired military wives as they are making such a sacrifice and supporting their husband who are defending our country. It's so sad that people would say any of these things about military wives. SMH!
ReplyDeleteI've always had respect to military wives and all other wives who can stand months of being away from their husband. Keep it up, mama!
ReplyDeleteThe bad thing about stereotypes is that everyone gets tarnished with the same brush, which is clearly not right. Thing is, I had no idea what the stereotypes for military wives were until I started dating a Navy guy - until then I was blissfully unaware. And obviously now that I've interacted with many military wives, those stereotypes can suck it! You rock, girl!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad your making light of this. I have respect for the military and military wives so people are so mean and pass judgement on folks.
ReplyDeleteI have respect for military and military wives. It takes a lot of courage.
ReplyDeleteMost the military wives carrying around "coach" and " Kate spade" or other name brand purses got them from their husband or got them on their own in Korea where they make those purse and they are like $10! I lived there and you could get any name brand for cheap.
ReplyDeleteHeidi
ReplyDeleteI personally have always admired the wives of the military. My mom is from a fireman and although it may not be the same, it is still a matter of having to learn very often to be alone for long periods, to give up and raise your children, not always counting on your own half. You are warriors.
I have such respect and admiration for our military families and spouses who support their loved ones. They get some perks but they earned them.
ReplyDeleteWeird. I have never heard of these stereotypes towards military wives and I personally have never even thought to create one - and I still don't because I am not that kind of person.
ReplyDeletePeople making stereotypes are so nasty, I didn't know them but it sounds awful anyway
ReplyDeleteUgh, I hate stereotypes in general and I hate that y'all get it too!
ReplyDeleteI've always admired military wives, and I can't imagine how difficult it must be to raise a family while worrying about your significant other and their safety!
These stereotypes make me sad. I have nothing but admiration for military wives.
ReplyDeleteSuch a shame that people think all of this. The Va hospital here does not even offer internet while you wait
ReplyDeleteI am personally against any sort of stereotypes, it is so negative and harmful! I never heard of any stereotype related to military wives but if there is any, it should STOP!!!
ReplyDeleteI personally believe that you should never judge a book by it's cover. I've never stereotype a military wife. I actually admire the sacrifice that a lot of them have to make.
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately there are some military wives that fit these stereotypes. And doctors' wives. And every other kind of wife. There are also tons of really nice military wives as well. I am a military wife and I have lots of friends that are military wives. And lots of friends that aren't. People are people. You get to know them and develop friendships with those that are healthy for you and avoid people that are toxic--regardless of what they or their husbands do. Great post.
ReplyDeleteDang, that is a lot of stereotypes. Stupid people who have nothing else to do. Personally, I feel like people think it is glamorous to be a military wife. REALLY???? The stress you live with... I am so proud of our military (and their wives and families) Put the stereotypes to sleep, people.
ReplyDeleteMilitart wives are really admiring! They are not just brave but very responsible for their family especially kids. I don't understand why there are some people who want to stereotyping military wives.
ReplyDeleteMy mom was a military wife and one of my close friends is one too. I have never heard these stereotypes before, but they seem ridiculous to me! Stay home moms get a lot of grief, no matter what their spouses do. I can only imagine how difficult it was when your husband is deployed, especially when the kids were younger!
ReplyDeleteI am so sad there are groups out there that actually mock military wives. How dare they! I'm glad you're clearing up all the misconceptions and going against the grain. Many of my friends are military wives, and these stereotypes are the last things I would ever associate to them. And for what's it worth - I am LOVING your purse!
ReplyDeleteI don't personally know any military wives so I had no idea about these stereotypes. But then again, some people always have something to say even though you are not a military wife. LOL.
ReplyDelete-LYNNDEE
I just did not know about these stereotypes. I find it interesting because the military wives I know are not like that at all but I will ask if they are aware. So interesting to me, thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteI didn't even know about these stereotypes. It's sad to hear people think of some of these at all. I personally wouldn't even want a coach bag or anything like that. I really love the bag you have in the photo though.
ReplyDeleteMilitary wives are awesome. Those who are jealous make such stereotype statements. I always admired military wives.
ReplyDeleteSome people are really nasty. Like they have so much time in their hands to talk about other people. I think you, military wives, are all awesome.
ReplyDeleteI don’t know the stereotypes about military wives so this was an interesting read. You’re right about not stereotyping; we shouldn’t do it to anyone.
ReplyDeleteIt crazy what people will come up with about anyone. You are doing your thing and no one judges you!
ReplyDeleteI hate stereotypes regardless, but you have great points here, some people need to be more educated before they open their mouths
ReplyDeleteStereotypes are terrible in general. People really need to educate themselves more before they speak about things!
ReplyDeleteI have several friends who are military wives, so no stereotyping from me! I figure we're all just trying to get through life in whatever way we know how.
ReplyDeleteI had no idea there were any stereotypes for military wives! These asumpptions are so judgmental! I admire military wives for the patience they must have and their dedication to their husbands and the country!!!
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing this! My sister is a military wife, and I could tell anyone these stereotypes are nothing but false! The amount of time, etc that you all sacrifice for the rest of this country is unimaginable ❤️
ReplyDeleteThese stereotypes sound annoying! I hope they read your posts before judging military wives.
ReplyDeleteWhen my DIL was a military wife, she was amazing too. They lived off base though, so it was a little different.
ReplyDeleteI was a military brat and then a military wife for several years and I heard none of these stereotypes. I did see a lot of girls who did these things, though, which is sad. They give hardworking and fiscally responsible individuals a very bad image.
ReplyDeletePeople are just making stereotypes to feel better than others. I don't get why do they need to say those things when they don't even know the truth. I mean maybe some do it but they're generalizing military wives. It's actually hard to be left alone with your husband and knowing that will you be able to see him again or not. We should be supporting each other, not pulling down.
ReplyDelete