7 Things To Do Besides Cry During A Deployment

Let me start off by saying that I cried when my husband deployed. He's done it about 4 times now, plus he's done a year in Korea. Things got tough. It seemed everything was breaking at once. The car. The house. The kids.

Source

But it took a lot of energy. And quite frankly, I didn't want my kids to see me constantly in tears. So I decided that I was going to pull myself together and focus on the good. (The bed to myself. The remote to myself. Cereal for dinner without a husband going, "Really? It's Trix for dinner?") I needed to remember that I was an individual, that even though I loved my husband, I could be fine on my own.

Here's some ideas of what you can do besides cry when your spouse deploys.

1. Start a new hobby. Honestly, I stuck with a hobby that I've been doing for years: collecting books and reading them. I would splurge and buy new books because they made me feel better. I had a friend who started to crochet, and she got really good! I'd accidentally poke someone's eye out if I tried, personally.



2. Hang out with friends. I would do this now and again but I'm a bit of an introvert and sometimes I found myself annoyed being with other people. Especially if they were like, "Oh my GOD, don't you just want to DIE having your husband gone?" Uh, no, because I have my own life, thanks. I find I'm tough to get along with at times because I'm quite blunt, but I don't have the patience for constant tears and dramatics.

3. Focus on things that make you happy. For me, that's Disney. I joined Disney groups on Facebook and even planned a Disney trip. This also included reading and watching marathons of Real Housewives.



4. Do things with your kids if you have them and if they don't behave like mini monsters. I mean, okay, sometimes my daughter was a pain in the you know what. With my husband gone, she thought it was time to act out, and she embarrassed me on MANY occasions. But sometimes my kids behaved like proper human beings, so I'd take them into the public. (Here's a time where my daughter embarrassed me. It was time to go to dance class to practice for the recital and she kept running from me. I was all, "I will CALL your father!" Some people walking past kept looking over and I waved and said, "Hi, what's your name, I'll get her to autograph something for you.")

5. Work out! Some find this a way to burn off steam. I personally hate working out, but I do try to jog daily so I can eat donuts. I curse while doing it, but I feel good when I'm done. I feel like I've EARNED that donut, dang it. I tried Zumba with a friend once and looked like Left Shark.

6.  Start a deployment notebook. This is where you can put all the info about your spouse's deployment in case you quickly need it. I probably should have done this. I had papers all over the place. The power of attorney was in one corner. His orders were in another. A rant that I had written when his return date changed for THE THIRD TIME was in another. (Didn't really need that with everything. But I was pretty livid. I remember snapping, "Just freakin' call me when you're at the airport, okay? I'm tired of playing these Air Force games.") (You can get a cool deployment binder from Lauren over at The Military Wife and Mom here.)


7. Pig out. I mean. Don't eat your feelings every night, but once in a while is fine. I ate so many fries from McDonalds, and so many chocolate candy bars. Dr. Phil would be all, "Don't eat your feelings," but dude, sometimes you gotta.

(You're welcome, Dr. Phil!)

Is your spouse in the military? Have they deployed before? How did you cope? Or if you don't have a spouse in the military, how do you cope if your partner goes away for months at a time?