Sunday, June 7, 2020

When Your Son Has Sensory Issues...





"This is choking me. Why do I have to button all the buttons?" Tommy asked as he tugged on his collar.

"That's how you have to have it for graduation," I explained as he made gagging noises.

"I hate it," he answered.



Since he has autism, he's always had sensory issues. Certain things he cannot wear or eat. He's gotten much better with it. When he was tiny, he couldn't even handle play-doh without freaking out.

Now he's graduating in a short ceremony and he has to wear proper attire. Proper attire means a collared shirt and a tie. I'll be the first to say that I don't understand boy clothes as much, so I didn't realize collared shirts had different neck sizes. Oops.

So I told him, okay, I'll get you another shirt with a larger neck size.

He still hated having it buttoned up, but says he can at least breathe. But he will not do a tie.

"It's choking," he said.

So we went with a bow tie.

"It's still choking, but not as horrible," Tommy replied. "I can handle it. I guess."



Yay! I mean, he still might look uncomfortable at graduation, but most people at the school know his quirks. Plus it's a short ceremony, so he won't be sitting there for hours. I told him he can handle it for one hour.

"I'll try," Tommy told me solemnly.




His graduation is June 17th so we'll see how it goes.

63 comments:

  1. Such an exciting moment for your family. I hope he gets used to his outfit. Enjoy every moment of it

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  2. My son seems to have sensory issues too. He wouldn't wear certain socks because he said they were biting his feet!

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  3. I hope he has a great graduation day! He does look a little uncomfortable.

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  4. I hope he has an awesome graduation day. An hour will be tough, but I am confident that he can do it! Congrats buddy!

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  5. I'm sure he is going to do great at his graduation. Congratulations again!

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  6. Congrats again to him! I think my oldest has mild sensory issues. She's a bit sensitive to noises. That can be tough!

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  7. Well congratulations to him! And you! And glad you were able to find a shirt with a bigger neck. Great photos too!


    Allie of
    www.allienyc.com

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  8. I can a tiny bit understand his sensory thing. I too hate things touching my neck.

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  9. I think everybody at some point have a sensory issue.But some people have it worse than others.For me I can't have a watch, I hate them I feel that my hand is too small for watches so I never use them and since I was little I hated them. I thought that I have something holding my hand and just for the thought of putting on a watch gives me the creeps.

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  10. I have loads of sensory issues, and think as the commenter above that most people do. It is all a matter of how to work around it like you did with your son.

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  11. I hope his graduation goes OK for you all - it must be so hard trying to make things work when you have sensory issues.

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  12. He looks so nice and happy in the bow tie! My daughter has some sensory issues, though not extreme, we go back and forth on certain clothes that "itch" all the time!

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  13. Congrats to him on graduation! Both of my kids have sensory issues. We've had conversations about the scratchiness of clothes for years.

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  14. I think I have the same issues with clothes. Haha. I find it so funny when imagining how your son reacted to the closed buttons.

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  15. Congratulations on graduation! I can relate to this as I think one of my kiddos also has sensory issues :)

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  16. Congratulations to him! And that's exciting that he still gets a ceremony-- most of the schools in my area aren't doing them, which seems so sad to me.

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  17. Congrats with the graduation. It's awesome you managed to fit into needed looks. Frankly I think almost everybody looks awkward during the graduation so it's perfectly ok, sensory issues or not

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  18. Yay!! I am so glad that they decided to have a graduation ceremony for the class. It is such an important milestone in his life so congrats. Woohoo!!

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  19. Aww congratulations to your sweet son for his graduation! You are such a great mama - always love reading your stories.

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  20. I am so proud of your son! He looks great and he did it, he graduated, which is a huge milestone.

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  21. What a great mama! It's all about listening, compromising, and picking your battles isn't it? Must be hard to know when it's just a kid being a kid and wanting or not wanting something "just because" vs. actually having real physical or mental anquish over it!

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  22. How cute! Congratulations to him! Our son's school only had a virtual graduation over the weekend. -LYNNDEE

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  23. This is such a great idea when your son was struggling with the hat. Loves that you thought of a great solution.

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  24. I am so excited for his graduation. I know it's not easy for both of you but I know you can overcome everything. Congratulations and wishing you to have a great day, always!

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  25. Thanks for sharing your perspective on all this. I understand the difficulty that comes along with sensory issues.

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  26. He looks so handsome in his graduation clothes. I'm sure he will be fine once he sees all his colleagues wearing the same clothes. He must be very excited about graduation.

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  27. In the future for job interviews and such he can wear a clip on tie! Best invention ever!

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  28. Congrats to your son. And I understand how that button up shirt feels and he is right. It sucks.

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  29. Congratulation to him. I bet it's a huge milestone for him. Thanks for sharing your story.

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  30. Look at him all ready to graduate! I am so happy for him.

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  31. Am glad that he is going to complete graduation..Congratulations to him.ya it is really a very proud moment for your entire family..

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  32. Congratulations to him and all the best for his graduation. I hope it goes well and you create treasured memories.

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  33. I love that he's willing to try! Congratulations on his graduation!

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  34. Congratulations on the graduation! I know that anything that I've done is twenty times more difficult for him. I'm really curious to know more about your journey with your son as a parent. In addition, is he planning on going to college?

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  35. I have two boys with sensory issues. Our oldest one has autism as well, so every day is an adventure! :)

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  36. Congrats on your Son graduation :) he is so handsome, I dont have experienced being with autism, I am curious how people are so patience taking care of them. :) Im wishing you a Goodluck on your Son Journey. :)

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  37. Congratulations to your son! I'm glad you found a compromise that he's comfortable with.

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  38. It is good that he was able to adapt to the outfit! Congratulations on the graduation!

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  39. I've never heard of this before. I'm glad he's excited about graduation. Congrats!

    Candy Rachelle
    Keeping Up With Candy
    www.keepingupwithcandy.com

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  40. Congrats to your son and you! BB's granddaughter is also autistic, though her sensory issues tend more towards taste. Our go to for questions/issues/understanding is Christine of Sensory Friends, a great blog written by a caring, knowing mom.

    Wishing y'all an enjoyable ceremony (or at least tolerable) and a great summer.

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  41. Thank you for sharing this and bringing awareness to the sensory issues faced with Autism. Although I feel i have certain issues in regards to sensations, it's more in line with my anxiety than and over sensitivity than anything else.

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  42. Congratulations to him on graduation! Glad you were able to find a compromise for him

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  43. Awww.. CONGRATS to Tommy!! But dear Tommy, it's only for a short time you have to wear it although we know you hate it, just hang in there. You look great! You did great mom! I have a special needs daughter (she's almost 13) with achondroplasia Dwarfism. Awww.. LOVE THIS!!! Thanks for sharing.

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  44. Thanks you for sharing- so important to keep all graduates in mind and their enjoyment during the Class of 2020 recognition. Would love to share your story via Los Tweens and Teens - we're featuring posts about grads all over the country. Check out our IG for more!

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  45. Congratulations to your son and to the proud parents, my daughter was supposed to have their graduation too last March when the ECQ took effect.

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  46. Congratulations to him And you! And glad you were able to find a shirt with a bigger neck. Great photos


    Tyson of
    www.xxcoupons.com

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  47. The graduate looks amazing and the tie so cool. I know he will succeed and cope with his issues

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  48. Congrats on his graduation! So exciting celebrating a new chapter in his life and gaining a bit or normalcy back after this tumultuous year. Also, big yeah for finding an alternative that worked for him.

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  49. What a happy occasion! Congratulations on graduation and for finding an alternative that works!

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  50. It's so great you found something that works for him!

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  51. Congrats grad! He looks so happy! I'm sharing this with a friend that's son also has sensory issues.

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  52. Awww bless him, hope graduation goes well and glad it is not too long. Congrats on his upcoming graduation.

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  53. Isn't everyone uncomfortable at graduation anyway, really? :) Congrats to him on the accomplishment and glad you were able to make something work for him!

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  54. Oh wow, that sounds exciting and a big step as well. I hope the graduation goes well, I'm sure it will be fine, he will be caught up in all the excitement. I think the bow tie was the better option for him and it looks great x

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  55. Congratulations on his graduation! So glad you were able to help him more comfortable.

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  56. Good luck for the graduation! I am sure he will be fine and will have beautiful memories after!

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  57. He looks so handsome! Congrats all around on the achievement! You must be so proud.

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  58. Congrats for the graduation. He will be fine. Wishing him all the success for his future. Sure he makes you proud.

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  59. Congratulations to your son on his graduation and best of luck to him in the future. I'm glad you found a solution for the shirt & bow tie.

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  60. Congratulations on his graduation, I am sure he makes you very proud. Glad you found a soloution

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  61. Congratulations! Graduating is such an emotional and exciting times. Im not a fan of being buttoned up either, but he looks so dapper in his graduation attire. Congrats again!

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  62. My daughter is the same way with so many different things! We still haven’t gotten her into jeans. Even when she was a baby, she would scream if I put her in jeans.

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  63. As a guy with autism who recently graduated, I can share Tommy's feelings for wearing formal clothes. Gladly my ceremony was barely 1 hour and after that, I just went home and put on some comfortable clothes. I am so proud Tommy is graduating and I wish the best for him. He is a great guy raised by 2 incredible parents.

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