Sunday, November 15, 2020

7 Things To Do Besides Cry During A Deployment

Let me start off by saying that I cried when my husband deployed. He's done it about 5 times now, plus he's done a year in Korea. Things got tough. It seemed everything was breaking at once. The car. The house. The kids.





But crying took a lot of energy. And quite frankly, I didn't want my kids to see me constantly in tears. So I decided that I was going to pull myself together and focus on the good. (The bed to myself. The remote to myself. Cereal for dinner without a husband going, "Really? It's Trix for dinner?") I needed to remember that I was an individual, that even though I loved my husband, I could be fine on my own.


Here's some ideas of what you can do besides cry when your spouse deploys.







1. Start a new hobby. Honestly, I stuck with a hobby that I've been doing for years: collecting books and reading them. I would splurge and buy new books because they made me feel better. I had a friend who started to crochet, and she got really good! I'd accidentally poke someone's eye out if I tried, personally. But hey, now would be the perfect time to start a new hobby. 



2. Hang out with friends. I would do this now and again but I'm a bit of an introvert and sometimes I found myself annoyed being with other people. Especially if they were like, "Oh my GOD, don't you just want to DIE having your husband gone?" Uh, no, because I have my own life, thanks. I find I'm tough to get along with at times because I'm quite blunt, but I don't have the patience for constant tears and dramatics.






3. Focus on things that make you happy. For me, that's Disney. I joined Disney groups on Facebook and even planned a Disney trip. This also included reading and watching marathons of Real Housewives.






4. Do things with your kids if you have them. We have movie nights every Friday. We also go out to eat once a week. It gives us something to look forward to. 


5. Work out! Some find this a way to burn off steam. I personally hate working out, but I do try to jog daily so I can eat donuts. I curse while doing it, but I feel good when I'm done. I feel like I've EARNED that donut, dang it. I tried Zumba with a friend once and looked like Left Shark. 






6.  Start a deployment notebook. This is where you can put all the info about your spouse's deployment in case you quickly need it. I probably should have done this. I had papers all over the place. The power of attorney was in one corner. His orders were in another. (You can get a cool deployment binder from Lauren over at The Military Wife and Mom here.)


7. Pig out. I mean. Don't eat your feelings every night, but once in a while is fine. I ate so many fries from McDonalds, and so many chocolate candy bars. Dr. Phil would be all, "Don't eat your feelings," but dude, sometimes you gotta.


(You're welcome, Dr. Phil!)





Is your spouse in the military? Have they deployed before? How did you cope? Or if you don't have a spouse in the military, how do you cope if your partner goes away for months at a time?






37 comments:

  1. I think I'd have a very hard time! These are great ideas.

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  2. I don't experience this by not being the wife or daughter of a soldier, but I always really like reading your points of view, emotions and feelings about it.

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  3. Awwww!! This is a great list but you are totally allowed to cry too!

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  4. When my son deployed it was awful. You have to be an incredibly strong woman and I want to say thank YOU because you served right along with him!

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  5. These are all very great ideas. Super thankful for our soldiers.

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  6. I can't imagine going through something like this time and time again. Thank you to your husband and your family for your service!

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  7. I have two boys who are overseas. It is tough but I am thankful for Facebook so I can see them.

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  8. This is such a good list! This is perfect for the military spouses that find themselves in the grip of depression and struggle coming up with their own list. Thank you for making this so accessible!

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  9. It sounds like you are making the best of a difficult situation. This seems like a great list to help get through it.

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  10. This is such an excellent post that will surely help so many dealing with deployment right now. I have seen a huge amount of friends wishing their sons and husbands and wives off, glad you shared this.

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  11. Thank you so much for giving a little insight on how to handle deployments. Thank you to your husband and family for the sacrifices you are making.

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  12. Going to Disney is an awesome way to distract yourself from the deployment. I hope you are reunited soon.

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  13. I have never had to go through this. It would certainly be a struggle. It is always good to have distractions in tough situations.

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  14. These are great tips and I think this is also help not only to all military spouse but also to all wives who's their husbands need to go outside the country for work. Thank you really helps me a lot.

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  15. It must be really hard for anyone that is a military spouse. These are really helpful tips to keep them distracted and busy.

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  16. Thank you for these great tips and they are useful for those of us with spouses in the medical field where they have to move around for residency programmes and other opportunities. It can be particularly lonely sometimes.

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  17. Being away from someone you loved so much is so sad.. The first week will always be full of tears. ��

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  18. Well these tips are very useful. It isn't a good moment for anyone. Hugs x

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  19. I have got great respect for families of soldiers. They sacrifice so much to keep the country safe. I am sending you some love. You are doing great.

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  20. Thank you for your's and your husband's service. I admire how strong you are and appreciate how hard it must be.

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  21. I think starting a hobby is a great idea. It's a wonderful way to distract yourself during a stressful time.

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  22. I agree, doing things that you love and enjoy, and spending quality time with your kids are great things to do. -LYNNDEE

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  23. I would cry if I were in your shoes but your list of ideas to cope also works well. It takes a bit of living intentionally.

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  24. I can't imagine how difficult it must be to have someone deployed. My father was in the army and although I remember him leaving for extended periods, it never really hit me.
    Sending you so much love! x

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  25. These are some really good tips. I couldn't imagine having to go through this. It must be difficult every time they have to leave. Spending time with loved ones would definitely help me though it.

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  26. I did experience time away from my partner mostly this year, when the lockdown caught each of us in a different country. We were unable to see each other for months. It was horrible to be on my own, all the time, alone in the house - the lockdown meant I wasn't able to see friends either.

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  27. Oh wow! I admire you! I never experience that my partner go away from me. And If it happen I will surely use these tips you have shared.

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  28. Being apart from a loved one is really such a struggle. It's very trying especially during the holidays. These tips that you've shared are all excellent!

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  29. I could never imagine going through a deployment. My heart goes out to military families especially during the holidays. These are all great ideas to get you through that tough time.

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  30. The longest my husband has been away, was just 3 months, so it wasn't that bad. It's so important to have good friends and/or family near you. I kept myself occupied by doing a lot of cleaning, organizing, working out and having fun with my daughter.

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  31. Love your point of view and these tips. We always need to see the positive part.

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  32. I have never had to deal with this but I can imagine how hard it is to say goodbye. I had heard that military wives do form support groups which would be helpful.

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  33. I admire your courage and strong determination. This is a good start and this blog will help a lot of wives like you.

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  34. I know you miss your husband but it's nice to know that you still find the reason to see the lighter side of things. Great tips especially that on pigging out.

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  35. Great job on your part! I only know of handful friends who are married to military personnels, and I know it's hard (and I often see tearful reunions).

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  36. You're handling this better than I would. That's for sure. I was separated form my husband only a few times and that was not longer than a week. It was unbearable. For both of us.

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