Behind this closed door is my teenage daughter. Something is wrong but she won't tell me what it is.
Once upon a time I used to be one of her favorite people. She always wanted to be around me. She always told me about her day. Once upon a time I was even featured in her artwork of her favorite thing to do at home. I remember her showing me the drawing. "It's you, Mommy," she said, grinning. "It's you and me being together."
I get it. She's a teenager now. It's not cool to tell your mother everything. But. I hate when I see her upset. I hate when I can't fix it. I remind her that I'm here, that she can tell me anything. Normally I get an eye roll or an annoyed, "I know."
Behind this closed door my daughter is probably crying. Sure, I could burst in and demand to know what is wrong. But I'd probably get a muttered response or the world famous answer: "I'm fine" even though we both know it's a lie. This is part of the growing up stage that stings. I know I didn't tell my parents everything that was going on in my life. Sometimes it was because I was embarrassed. Other times it was because I assumed they were too old and wouldn't understand.
All I can do is wait. All I can do is tell her that I'm always around over and over. Yes, she'll roll her eyes at me. Yes, she'll sigh and grumble, "I know." Maybe she'll even let me know what is going on. Sometimes she opens up. Sometimes I might never know what happened.
But what she'll always know? Is that I'm here, ready to listen to when she's ready.
oh no, poor little thing. It can be harder to get them to talk when they get older. Hope it's nothing too serious x
ReplyDeleteShe's okay! I find teens have their moments when they just need to be alone. All I can do it remind her I'm around if she does want to talk. Sometimes she does, other times she works things out with friends and asks them for advice.
DeleteTeens can be moody. My boys have their moments so I so understand.
ReplyDeleteAs my observation nowadays teens are getting emotionally and moody regarding there personal problems and they keeping privately as they can. But, we always see them, provide care always and not to be alone.
ReplyDeleteI'm dreading these days! My daughter is 11 and approaching the teenage years so fast!
ReplyDeleteTeens are so complicated and very often we feel useless or even wrong. We, parents don't know if we are doing it right or wrong.
ReplyDeleteI go through this exact thing with my teen, all I can do is let her know I'm always there for her always!
ReplyDeleteOh I remember those years, both being the teenager and worrying about my teenage kids. It is not easy, but she's lucky to know that when she's ready, she can talk to you.
ReplyDeleteYes, sometimes it is hard being a parent. Especially when we probably could help them, but they worn't let us for what ever their reason is.
ReplyDeleteI am glad that I don't have children, I saved a lot of problems
ReplyDeleteHopefully she will open up and work through it! All you can do is let her know you are there mama, you're doing your best!
ReplyDeleteIt can be so tricky dealing with teenager's emotions. Finding the right balance between giving her some space and keeping the communication open can be challenging.
ReplyDeleteI hope that eventually she'll open up and you guys can talk about things. I remember when I was a teen, it was difficult to be open with my mom. I don't know what it is but during the teenage years, it's almost like teens just kind of want to deal with things on there own. Now that I'm an adult though, I pretty much tell my mom everything.
ReplyDeleteThe teen years can be so tough. I still remember those times as a teen myself. I struggle with this as a mom too.
ReplyDeleteHaving children is the most wonderful feeling the world. It gives you motivation to be a better version of your self everyday but the struggle is so real to keep the communication open.
ReplyDeleteWe should give them time to be alone but always let them know that we are around around to listen to them.