Tuesday, March 24, 2020

8 Reasons Why A Teenager Is Scarier Than A Threenager

I first heard the word "threenager" while reading a blog post. Apparently, to some, three-year-olds are a lot like teenagers.

Perhaps.

But it's a little different when you have an actual teenager. In my eyes, teenagers are scarier than threenagers. And here is why.





1. Teenagers are bigger.  So they can take you down if they wanted to. Three-year-olds can attack your knees. They do bite, but it's more chilling to see the person you made towering over you--eyes blazing with anger, with red pimples all over their face.



2. Teenagers voices are deeper. When they are upset with you, shouting is terrifying when it's no longer in an adorable chipmunk voice. I'd laugh at my three-year-old when they got upset because it was amusing to hear, "I don't YIKE this!" I don't laugh as much when my teenager booms, "Nothing is going right today!" and the walls are shaking.



3. If teenagers throw a fit in public, people judge. This is because everyone assumes a teenager should have their feelings in check. Newsflash: they don't. If a three-year-old is throwing a fit, some people will throw sympathetic looks towards the parent. Looks that say, "We've all been there. Hang in there." When a teenager does it, people mutter something about juvenile detention facilities.



4. Teenagers want more expensive things. A three-year-old might beg for a plastic Paw Patrol set. A teenager is like, "Can I have the new iPhone?" You might assume that when kids get older that it won't be as expensive--finally, no more toys--but it's not true.



5. Teenagers won't stop eating. You'll watch as they inhale most of a large pizza. A three-year-old will pick at their food. They'll be content with a bag of character fruit snacks. But a teenager will ask for more food, even if they've just eaten ten minutes ago. You'll be amazed when they go, "There's nothing to eat!" You'll say, "But I just went grocery shopping two days ago. There's plenty." You'll open the pantry door and blink with disbelief when you find that everything is gone.



6. The mood of a teenager can change instantly. One second they'll be laughing and you'll think, "This is great!" The next second they'll be wearing a scowl and grumbling something about how "their life is over." Yes, a three-year-old can have terrible mood swings. But again, it's not quite as frightening to hear a chipmunk voice go, "My life is OVER!"



7. Teenagers have a bigger vocabulary so their words can hurt. A three-year-old might go, "You're a poopy-head!" That amuses me. A teenager might write a long letter on how you are ruining their life. They might go on a tirade on how "they didn't ask to be born." A three-year-old will eventually tucker out and be ready for a nap. One hour later, and your teenager might still be ranting.


8. ....or a teenager might fall silent and not speak at all. A three-year-old is rarely quiet. But when a teenager goes quiet, you wonder what's happening. Are they talking with a pedophile online? Are they secretly doing drugs? Drinking? What's happening? What's going on? And all they'll say is, "I'm fine." Are you being bullied? WHAT'S GOING ON? "Fine." A three-year-old will tell you all about their day. "Janie picked her boogers. Parker wants to know if he can paint his cat. Dora found the hidden treasure."


Bottom line? Teenagers are frightening creatures. Sometimes I even wish my teenager could morph into a three-year-old again.



But then I remember how my three-year-old couldn't be left home alone. So I think I'll keep the teenager.

Even if he does scare me sometimes.


30 comments:

  1. three year olds are so darn cute we have to keep those smiles in minds when they are truly having a bad moment or day

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  2. Your analysis is really perfect, careful and tells in perfection differences that then, as you point out, are not so much.

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  3. I once wrote a post about how tweens are like toddlers!

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  4. Haha this post is spot on! My nephew is 3 and he's getting quite the attitude, hopefully that calms down soon!

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  5. Haha I love the term threenager. Although I can't totally relate yet as we don't have kids, I've watched over my nieces and nephews before and when they were a threenager they had some attitude going on. haha

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  6. I had never heard of the word "threenager". I can say I relate since I am parent to no threenager nor teenager but this post is very funny.

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  7. This is hilarious, I didn't realize how scary teenagers are ahha

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  8. I needed this laugh! I totally agree! When I babysit (they have a 2 teens and 1 toddler) I'm amazed at how similar they are in some aspects. But teenagers are terrifying to me even at 24, lol!

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  9. LOL!!! Some of these made me chuckle because if my teens EVER attempted to take me down, they'd regret being born!

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  10. I'm not a mother but I can agree. As a person who was recently a teenagers (well, nearly 10 years ago but shhh) I can confirm they can be real A**holes.

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  11. I think I'll keep my teenager as well. Though, I miss those days. I really can't imagine going back to them.

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  12. LMAO...I agree with you, they do seem a lot scarier lol...They can be super mean and that is a fact lol...

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  13. That's so funny. We have a three-year-old now and it's cute when she does stuff. When her mom was a teenager, her antics weren't so funny. lol

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  14. There was no such thing like a mad teen in my house. You either be obedient or be slapped across your face. Or get the chancleta. That's the puertorrican way to deal with teenagers.

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  15. I laughed at the chipmunk voice part. It's so true! I'm kind of dreading the teenage phase because I know it's going to be incredibly challenging for us.

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  16. Yep, this post pretty much nails it. One other thing is that you can't always convince a teenager to actually make the right decision--in the end they have to make the decision. You can still make decisions for threenagers, though.

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  17. My kids are not teenagers yet but I dread the time when they become teens. I prefer them as they are now ! But when they become teens I will appreciate that they are still teens and not full grown adults!

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  18. Haha, this is too funny! Teenagers definitely keep us on our toes!

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  19. I don't have kids but I work with teenagers and what you said is soooo true!

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  20. Spoken like someone who KNOWS. The threes can be awful but you can still control them. Not so with a teen who is 6" taller than you!

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  21. There is never a worse time in life than being a teenager or tween. Everything feels momentous. Your body is out of control. Your brain is a carousel of nightmares. Your friends are a-holes. Everything is the worst. You’re like a hardened inmate looking to get back at the people who put him away — you feel like you’ve got nothing to lose. I sympathize. We’ve all been there. (And obviously not all of you are like this.) I get it. Being a tw/een is the suckiest. I had seen my nephew so I know how it can be.

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  22. My kids are not teenagers yet, but I can only imagine. I have a 9 and 11 year old. They are getting closer to that age. I'm not sure I'm ready yet either.

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  23. Even if teenagers have deeper voices, are almost adults, say things, they also understand much better than a three year old. And they also have different feelings, like empathy. Something that a three year old hasn't learned it.

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  24. These are all true. haha! I can still remember when my niece was three. She was so cute even when she's angry at us.

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  25. An interesting point of view! :) It's a little bit of fun!

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  26. Plus some teenagers can drive! I agree, teens are more dangerous!!

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  27. I love the way you write the difference between 3 year old and teenager. I am afraid of teenager days, as one of mine is getting ready to reach that in few years.

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  28. My kids aren't teenagers yet and I don't think I am ready for that phase yet! My kids always hungry and won't stop eating. They also love expensive stuff.

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  29. teenages are way scarier than three years old. haha. no doubt about that! i agree with this list. also, this is the first time i heard about threenager. :) fun post!

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  30. I can't believe my eldest is going to be 10 this year and getting closer to the teenager years - I have to say I'm not looking forward to it, I love it when they were small and toddlers but already the attitude is a lot to take in

    Laura x

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