Different Reactions When My Husband Told Me He's Deploying Again

My husband hadn't even been home that long from being in Turkey for a year. So when he told me he was deploying, I didn't know what to think. I had all sorts of reactions running through my head, some of which contained filthy words which I'll keep out of this post as I realize not everyone finds it appropriate to let the f word fly. 

Here's my reactions:

1. I laughed. I thought he was joking. I was all, "very funny." I might have even playfully punched his shoulder. 

He was like, "I'm not kidding. I'm going." It took a few times of him saying this for it to sink in.

2. I need a therapist. Seriously, it's not easy to deal with everything on your own. Sometimes when you're married to a person who is seems to leave more times than he stays, you feel incredibly alone. The military does provide therapy, or you can google online therapy that takes insurance and multiple choices pop up. Know that you are NOT alone. There are usually deployment groups as well.

3. How am I going to do this again? For the most part I don't mind being alone. In fact, I love it because it means I can do what I want, when I want. I get the remote to myself and don't have to explain why I'm watching Real Housewives of Beverly Hills in the middle of the day. But it can be tough when I have to be in two places at once and I don't have the help. Oh gosh, I have to do yard work again. Ugh. What if something breaks? I can fix some things but other times I'm at a loss. There is Angi which is a site to find someone who can help if something does fall apart at least. When Tom was gone the last time our ceiling started leaking so I had to get roofers. 

4. Is he going to be safe? Yes, most places he goes is safe, but they are all located in unsafe areas. Plus he can go on missions and those aren't always safe, so I always worry. I find meditation can help if I get too worked up. Plus there's also the aforementioned therapy. And McDonald's French Fries.

5. I can do it. I know I am capable of handling everything. When all else fails, there's shopping at Target and lots of chocolate. Sometimes I just need to take a deep breath and remind myself that I've got this.

Saying goodbye is the worst. It never gets easier. But I feel like I grow a little each time he goes. With the help of family and friends, I know I'll be okay after I send my husband off. For hopefully the very last time. One can always hope.