6 Reasons Why It's Difficult To Facetime With A Deployed Soldier

When my husband was deployed, we tried to Facetime everyday, but it's not always easy. The connection can be pretty terrible. However, I know we're lucky. My Nana Jo talks about the letters she would write to my Grandpa, who was off fighting for his country during World War 2. She said it would take months to get a letter. You didn't know if your loved one was okay. Sometimes the letters would arrive with sentences marked off in black if it was deemed unsafe. That would have been difficult.

When my husband first deployed years ago, we only got one phone call a month, if that. So I am grateful Facetime and Skype exist. But still. It doesn't always make things easier. Let me explain...

1. The sound cuts out often. So your conversation goes like this, "How day?" And, "I you." (Translation: "How was your day?" and "I miss you.") Words are left out. This can be confusing when you hear, "I chow arms." (Translation: "I ate at the chow hall and worked out my arms.")

2. The picture freezes. The other person is sometimes frozen with a silly expression on their face. It's funny at first, but then you think, "Can I just have a normal conversation with MY HUSBAND?" You also worry you'll be frozen in an unflattering way. Suppose he shows his work buddies?


3. The call will be dropped in the middle of a conversation. You'll get the "reconnecting" message, but it's a lie. It won't reconnect. You have to call all over again.


4. Sometimes the call won't even connect at all. You'll try and try and try. You'll curse and curse and curse. You'll cry and cry and cry and wail, "I JUST WANT TO TALK TO MY HUSBAND!" all dramatic-like. Or maybe that's just me?


5. If you see a member of the opposite sex in the background, you might think, "Who's that ho? Why is she near you?" Not because you're a bad person, but because you're jealous someone else gets to be near your husband when you can't be.


6. You'll be told, "I can't talk right now," and you'll immediately think the worst. You'll say, "Are there bad guys coming? Are you okay?" and then you'll be DISCONNECTED and go into a panic. You'll think of all the scary scenes in war movies. You'll wonder if that's happening to your husband RIGHT AT THIS VERY SECOND. Then, when he finally calls, you'll be all, "Oh my GOSH, are you okay? Are you wounded?" and he'll go, "Jesus, we just had a meeting. Calm down."



Again, I am grateful Facetime and Skype exist. But there are some challenges you'll just have to deal with.

And hope that when the screen freezes, you at least look flattering and not drugged.

Things That Annoy Me Thursday: No Amiibos Anywhere!

Ugh.

Amiibos.

I cannot find the ones I want anywhere.

You might be like, "What are amiibos?"

These are amiibos:

You use them to help boost your characters in various Wii U games. You can find the ones pictured above at all the stores. But not the other ones. I'm looking for The Villager, Little Mac, and the Target exclusive one. Plus many, many, others. But you can't find them ANYWHERE!

Wait.

I lie.

You can find them on eBay. For like TRIPLE the cost. No way. I will not pay more than $12.99 for a figure. I will not. The people that buy up amiibos and sell them for a bunch more money are awful, awful human beings.

I've been trying to find them for Tommy, because his birthday is on Monday. But it's impossible to find the ones I want. I did manage to get Sonic and Mega Man from Gamestop.com thanks to a friend alerting me that they popped up online. FYI, they do pop up online sometimes, but they go fast. Star Fox came online at ToysRUs.com but was quickly snapped up before I could get to it.

It's making my head hurt, guys.

I feel like it's last year and I'm searching for Frozen stuff and I can't find it ANYWHERE. But. Disney eventually made more Frozen stuff and now it's everywhere. Maybe it'll be the same for amiibos.

I hope.

But seriously Nintendo, make more! And put a limit on how many a person can purchase!

Hey, It's Okay Tuesday!

I got this idea from Glamour magazine. They have a section called Hey, It’s Okay and will list a bunch of things to be okay about. You're welcome to join in and do something like this on your blog. Doesn't have to be on a Tuesday either. Just make sure you link up and that the post you link up is a Hey, It's Okay Post. Grab the button if you'd like!
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--To have been very excited when Desmond showed up on Scandal. Well. I think his character's name is Steven on THAT show, but he'll always be Desmond to me.



--To be grateful that Give Parents A Break is on Saturday. I get to drop Natalie off at the youth center for 5 hours. Tommy and I are going on a date.



--To have showed Natalie the original Annie. "You'll never look at train tracks the same after this," I warned her.



--To be in disbelief that Tommy will be THIRTEEN on Monday. He says he's been waiting YEARS to get a Facebook account. He's still miffed that there are kids UNDER thirteen on Facebook. (The Facebook rules state you have to be thirteen to have an account.) "Why are they lying?" It's a common rant in this house from him.



--To have only watched a little of the Oscars. Then I got bored. Aren't those people awarded something like every WEEK!? It's ridiculous.



--To have switched off the Oscars as soon as Adam Levine started singing. I can't take his girl voice. Sorry. I know a lot of people love him.



--To be seeing The Duff today if the weather cooperates. It looks hilarious. Plus Amber from Parenthood is in it.



--To have gone to a Victorian Tea over the weekend. You'll be pleased to know that I did NOT get the giggles. I usually get the giggles at the worst possible moments.

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4 Ways My Daughter Has Made Me Go "WTF?"

Having a daughter is fun. You get to dress her up. You get to have a shopping buddy.

You also scratch your head a lot because you don't understand her behaviors.

Here are some things that have left me going, "WTF?" when dealing with my daughter.

1. She came home from school carrying this tree branch:

"I couldn't leave it! It was lonely! It needs to live here. With us." She was serious, guys. I refused to let it in the house but it still sits outside our front door.




2. I heard her crying in her room the other night. I thought she was hurt so I rushed upstairs.

"I miss my tooth being in my mouth! It used to be there and now it's GONE! It's GONE, Mommy!" She had finally lost her first tooth and she was freaking out about it.




3. She'll be playing nicely outside and then she'll come to the door with a friend. This always seems to happen when I'm on my period with unbrushed hair, a stained shirt, and sweatpants.

"Can my friend come inside? We're bored." I'll explain that I look awful and she'll say, "We don't want to play with YOU." Still. I don't want to traumatize someone else's child. Why can't she want to invite someone in when I look decent and smell like a peach?





4. I'll start to gather some of her old toys to donate, because her room can get scary. She'll find the pile of toys I want to get rid of and she'll be like:

"Why are you getting rid of my skates? You know how much these mean to me!" Even though she has NEW skates. This is why I have to get rid of her stuff while she's at school. Otherwise she'll suddenly discover that she NEEDS her Little People castle in her life.

5 Reasons Why Fifty Shades Of Grey Freaks Me Out

Lots of people went to see Fifty Shades of Grey. I know this thanks to my Facebook feed. I'm sure lots of people will go see the sequel too. I'll pass, because I know the movies aren't for me. Why? Well, the books made me cringe. I had friends gush about Christian and I'd be all, "Are we reading the same book? Christian is creepy." Maybe people like men with sex rooms and who are super needy.

1. I don't feel the need to do kinky things in bed.

Maybe this makes me a prude. Fine. I'm a prude. But I don't want to use whips and chains. That frightens me. If Tom showed up with a whip I'd either A) laugh or B) scream.



2. The period sex scene in the book made me gag. (It's apparently not in the movie.)

When I'm on my period, I feel gross. I want to stay in sweatpants for days and stuff chocolate in my face. I may or may not brush my hair. I don't want anyone to touch me.



3. "You're here because I'm incapable of leaving you alone."--Christian

That's some scary shit right there. I don't want a man around me at all times. I need my space.



4. I don't like the way Christian stares at Anastasia.

Don't stare at me intently because I'll worry I have something on my face. I'm a messy eater.



5. Helicopters frighten me. Christian has his own, which he flies.

I do not like helicopters. I'm afraid they'll crash. I don't like flying to begin with. If you put me in a small container and ask me to have fun, it won't happen. I'll request that fun be had on solid ground, thank you.



Does Christian weird you out? Or am I the only one who doesn't appreciate rich freaky men with play rooms? It seems like it's the beginning of a 20/20 murder story to me....

Things That Annoy Me Thursday: School Projects (Character Can?!)

Natalie came home from school and I found a can in her backpack.

"Um," I said, lifting it out. "Did the boy who likes you give you a CAN?"

One never knows with children.

"No," Natalie answered and looked at me like I was an idiot. "It's for my character can project."

Immediate dread filled my stomach. Project? No. NO.

"Here." Natalie handed me the paper about it.

"This is crap," I said while reading.

Natalie shrugged. "Blame my teacher."

I hate projects like this. I detest crafting.

"SIX TO EIGHT SENTENCES?" I shouted, because the paper said the kid had to write six to eight sentences about the book. You have to understand, getting Natalie to write is difficult. She whines. She moans. And I had to ensure that she did it SIX TO EIGHT TIMES. And it had to be neat writing and Natalie's writing is not neat.

I sighed and massaged my temples. Why does this nonsense have to happen when Tom is deployed? Tom is good at putting things together. I am not.

"What character do you want to do?" I asked in a defeated tone.

"Little Red Riding Hood. I like how she wears red. I like wolves," Natalie said. Maybe she forget the part in the story when the wolf ATE Little Read Riding Hood? I don't know.

"Okay. Well. Okay. You'll be doing it all. I'll hot glue everything to the can, but the rest is all you."

Natalie looked insulted.

"This is YOUR project. I'm not one of those parents who takes over because of OCD issues. Sorry. You got a non-crafting Mom who curses more than she should," I said.

Natalie did cut out everything. I did hot glue it all. (This was before the thing had hair.)

It LOOKS like a child put it together as it should. It upsets me when I see kids with projects and you KNOW the parent did like 90% of it. Those projects should immediately fail. Or maybe I'm just bitter that some people can create awesome things.

Then came time to write the sentences and guys? I DESERVED the King Sized Twix bar I ate when it was all over. Natalie whined after the second sentence. She messed up after the third sentence so I had her start over again because the project paper stressed that the sentences had to be NEAT.

"I hate this. I hate ALL OF THIS!" Natalie shrieked, banging her fists down on the desk.

"It's only going to get harder as you age. Welcome to life," I replied.

Finally, FINALLY we were done and I made Natalie practice presenting, because a lot of the grade counted on how they presented to the class.

"Enunciate," I reminded Natalie, settling on the couch.

"I don't know what that means," Natalie said, wrinkling her nose.

"It means speak clearly. Don't blend your words together. Don't talk like Six from Blossom."

"I don't know WHO that is. You always CONFUSE me," Natalie replied in a haughty tone.

She presented, and she...well, she stumbled over words in her sentences and claimed her tongue didn't want to say them. So I don't know if she'll get the full amount of points for presenting. At that point I had enough of the character can and wanted it the F out of my house.

So please. NO MORE PROJECTS for the rest of the year. I beg of you, second grade teachers. For my sanity.

Hey, It's Okay Tuesday!

I got this idea from Glamour magazine. They have a section called Hey, It’s Okay and will list a bunch of things to be okay about. You're welcome to join in and do something like this on your blog. Doesn't have to be on a Tuesday either. Just make sure you link up and that the post you link up is a Hey, It's Okay Post. Grab the button if you'd like!
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--To plan on checking on that show The Slap. It's on my DVR but someone said I should read the book first.



--To be going to the Victorian Tea the local historical society is holding on Saturday with my friend Jennifer and our daughters. People will be in period dresses. I will not, as I don't have one, but I can't wait to see others. And I love tea. I will take photos. Follow me on Instagram to see some!



--To have refused to take my kids to see the Spongebob movie. They keep asking, I keep saying no. I have no guilt. There are some kid movies that I won't do.



--To be annoyed with the Facebook noises that I hear when I'm on my phone. Sometimes I hear them, other times I don't. Am I going crazy? Is this a weird experiment, Zuckerberg?



--To have a giveaway for the new Lego DVD called Justice League VS Bizarro League here.


--To have written this for my daughter's class picture:

I mean, they asked what they could do to get your kid to smile. So....

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The Introvert Who Shows Up

"Ask. Ask if you can come. I want you to come!" Natalie tugged on my arm as I carried her Valentine's Day goodies to her classroom.

We had simple Valentines to pass out. Nothing fancy. (Read: nothing from Pinterest.)

I also had cookies. Store bought, because I didn't want to accidentally poison someone.

Natalie wanted me to ask if I could come to the Valentine's Day party. Being in a room with children sounded about as fun as having the flu. Don't get me wrong, I like kids. I do. But I never know what to say to other people's children. My humor is warped. My kids semi understand it at this point in their lives. Other kids do not.

Still, in the back of my mind I always think, "Soon she won't want anything to do with you. Savor these moments." Weirdly, that voice sounds like Dr. Phil. I watch a lot of Dr. Phil.

"I'll ask," I promised.

We dropped off everything in the classroom, and I asked the teacher if I could return for the party. She said yes.

"Yay," Natalie said beside me. She beamed. "Soon she won't beam at you. She'll roll her eyes and make snide remarks under her breath about you." Yes. I'm aware. Thanks, Dr. Phil.

So I came back. I was a tad early and the kids were still at recess, so I waited outside the door. A child walked past me, stopped, and went, "I don't know you." I answered, "I don't know you either." He gave me a blank stare. I gave him a blank stare. Then he continued on down the hall. Where he came from, I don't know. It occurred to me later that I should have said I was Natalie's Mom and that I was waiting for the party to begin. But as I said before, I do not know what to say to other children.

I heard the rumblings of excited voices and knew Natalie's class was returning from outside. I spotted her in line, and her face lit up. Like really lit up. The same way my face lights up when one of my book reserves is ready in the library. She rushed over and hugged me.

We walked in the classroom, and I always feel out of place showing up, because I'm socially awkward and can't just dive in and begin to help. I watch other mothers just dive into helping and they do it so smoothly that I'm envious. I nervously stand around, hoping the teacher will tell me what she needs.

In this instance, I was the only parent there because the teacher did not ask for volunteers. But she seemed grateful that I was there, because the party would have treats and root beer floats. She asked if I could make the root beer floats.

I moved to the table where the food was set up. I was glad to see cupcakes and cookies and chips. I could never send my children to a school that banned sweets. Sweets are an important part of life.

I served the root beer floats. I chatted with the teacher. We talked about the boy who likes Natalie. Natalie has admitted to me that she likes him too. Really, this means they giggle at one another and chase each other at recess. Kids came up and asked for more ice cream. At one point I gave one girl three scoops, and she told everyone, "Natalie's Mom gave me THREE scoops!" Then the other kids rushed over, cups raised, wanting three scoops. The teacher said, "How about we just stick with two?" Oops.

Second grade is fun. I overheard people saying this was the BEST VALENTINE'S DAY PARTY EVER! Someone else talked about how her parents were going on a date and that she wasn't invited. "It's sort of rude," the little girl said seriously. A boy said he was going to eat all the candy he was given for dinner.

Yes, this sort of thing makes me uncomfortable. But I do it for my daughter.

Because right now, she likes me.

LEGO Justice League VS Bizarro League Blu-Ray **Giveaway**

**I was not compensated for this post. My opinions are my own.**



Legos.

We love them in this house.

There is a new Lego movie out called Lego Justice League Vs Bizarro League.

Here's information about it from the e-mail I received:


Batman has joined the newly formed Justice League in order to keep tabs on Superman, a mistrust that is complicated by Superman’s clumsy – but well-meaning – clone, Bizarro. Bizarro’s creation of the Bizarro League has caused confusion amongst the world’s greatest Super Heroes, but an even greater and mysterious threat may force the Justice League and Bizarro League to band together to defeat evil.




A lucky reader can win a copy of the DVD! It also comes with a Lego minifigure.


To enter, check out this app:




Tell me what name pops up in the Bizarro Name Generator! All you do is put your name in and see what pops up. (I'm Amber-Vibe-Zarro-Droid.) You can also watch the trailer for the DVD.



Giveaway Rules:


--MUST Live in the US

--NO PO Boxes

--Tell me what name pops up in the generator in the comments. You might also have to do it in the Rafflecopter thingy. It helps me know that you really did it. MAKE SURE YOU ENTER WITH RAFFLECOPTER, otherwise I won't count your entry.


a Rafflecopter giveaway



I will pick a winner on February 23rd with Rafflecopter.


Good luck!

6 Things I Want For Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day is Saturday.

I'm doing nothing, because Tom is deployed. I'll hang out with my kids and hope they don't trash the house.

1. A Cook

You guys know I hate to cook. I would LOVE to have a cook who knew what he or she was doing.


2. A Panic Room

Not to hide from burglars--but to hide from my kids. If they won't stop fighting and are just being annoying, I'd have a place to take off to.


3. Flowers

I do like getting flowers. Some people don't think they count since it's expected on Valentine's Day, but I don't agree. I love flowers whenever I can get them. Sometimes I forget to water the poor things, but for the first few days they look fabulous in my kitchen.


4. Dinner

If I can't have a cook, will someone please make me dinner? But Tom is deployed so he can't. Natalie would give me a very messy peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I'll probably order pizza. With cinnamon sticks.


5. New books

Even though I've run out of space for new books, I can't quit buying them. I try to stick to the library, but sometimes I can't help myself.


6. My husband


I wish he could come home. Instead I'll settle for a Facetime date if the Internet over there cooperates.


You might be wondering why I didn't mention chocolate because I've made it known on my blog and all over my social media that I adore chocolate. Here's the thing: I'm cheap, so I buy chocolate 50% off the day after Valentine's Day. I wait. BUT. Since Tom knew he was deploying and since the stores put out the next holiday stuff even when the current one hasn't even happened yet, Tom was able to purchase some chocolates for me with instructions NOT to eat them before Valentine's Day. I succeeded, but only because I've been stuffing my face with Girl Scout cookies.


So, anyway, what do you want? Do you have fun plans? I'm jealous if you're going to The Melting Pot. I love it there.


Happy Valentine's Day!

Things That Annoy Me Thursday: Bikes Breaking

I went to call Natalie inside for the night and she was crying.

"My bike won't move!" she shrieked.

Sure enough, the front tire would not spin. I asked what she did and she was like, "NOTHING! Just RIDING!"

I had to carry the bike inside, which was no easy task. I crashed into the bush. Next, I went into the garage, opened Tom's tool drawer, and pulled out the one I needed. I think it's called a wrench. Then I marched back over to the bike and said, "Mommy will fix this," because I want Natalie to know that girls are quite capable of fixing their property.

I peered at the bike and behaved like I knew what I was looking at. I didn't. But I wanted Natalie to think I did, so I went, "It's the brake. It's clamped down on the wheel. We have to loosen the brake. Simple." So I clamped the wrench on a silver domed screw thingy, there was a clicking sound, and then the brakes basically fell apart.

But the wheel moved again.

"So," I said, not panicking. "I'll just have to tighten the brake again. But not so much, because we want the wheel to move."

The thing was, I couldn't tighten the brakes. I don't know what I did wrong. I tried to tighten the silver domed screw thingy, and it wouldn't.

I called the bike a worthless fu*k, because I curse when I'm upset. Natalie reminded me to use friendly words, but I was not feeling friendly. What was wrong with the bike? Why wouldn't the brake work anymore?

"So," I said to Natalie. "You'll just have to stop yourself with you feet."

Natalie's eyes went wide. "I can't! I'll crash into things. I'll mess up my SHOES!"

"I don't know what to tell you. Daddy isn't here and Mommy is confused."

I posted this picture on Facebook, complaining about my ordeal.

Luckily my friend Jennifer said her husband Bobby could help. They came over the following day and Bobby was able to fix the brakes. I have no idea how he did it. I probably should have watched in case it happens again. Oops.

But I am so grateful they work! Thank goodness for helpful friends.

Hey, It's Okay Tuesday!

I got this idea from Glamour magazine. They have a section called Hey, It’s Okay and will list a bunch of things to be okay about. You're welcome to join in and do something like this on your blog. Doesn't have to be on a Tuesday either. Just make sure you link up and that the post you link up is a Hey, It's Okay Post. Grab the button if you'd like!
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--For my first instinct when I saw the tax refund in the account to be, "We're rich!" Natalie was like, "Yay!" Then I paid off everything. "We're no longer rich!" Right on cue, Natalie was like, "Aw." You can file your income tax online like we did. It's incredibly easy and usually the tax refund arrives within three weeks. 



--To have wanted to run to Target for a shopping spree when I saw the refund. But then I remembered I had to be a Responsible Adult.



--To be glad the car is now completely paid off. We are totally debt free. This is an amazing thing, considering how often I'm at Target.



--To have recorded the new Walking Dead. I promised Tom I'd watch with him. We're also doing this with The Blacklist and The Americans. I'm an impatient person, so this is DIFFICULT. Could I fib and watch? Yes. But then I'd feel guilty. He's over there for our freedom, and I can't wait to watch a fictional show? (No!) (Yes.)



--To not be doing anything for Valentine's Day. Tom is gone. I might order a pizza. What are you doing?



--To still think Kanye is an ass. I saw the highlights from the Grammys. Can Hollywood just kick him out?



--To have LAUGHED when I saw the preview for the new Magic Mike movie. Men gyrating at me has never turned me on. And that pony song in the background? It was all the rage when I was in high school so I just picture pimply kids being ridiculous whenever I hear it.



--To love Golden Corral so much. I usually try out all the desserts:

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The Stress of Valentine's Day With A Child

Valentine's Day.

It means chocolate.

It means flowers.

It means pulling your hair out if you have a kid who has to label all her Valentines for the class party.

This is what I discovered when I did it with my seven-year-old:

--some kids have weird ass long names

--some kids have names that make it hard to figure out if it is a boy or a girl. I called one person a boy, and Natalie was all, "That's RUDE! SHE'S a girl!" It made me flashback to the Courtney I went to school with. He was a boy. It always threw me off.

--it takes forever to label 20+ Valentines, especially if your kid is like, "My hand is hurting," every two seconds. Followed by, "I need a break."

--she's specific about WHAT Valentine each kid gets. I'd randomly hand one to her and she'd be like, "This says BE MINE. I can't say BE MINE to Cody. It'll give him the wrong idea. He chases me all the time and I'm not interested."


One hour later, we were finished, and I wanted to throw up my hands and do a jig, but then I had to put together Natalie's box to hold all her Valentines:

I am NOT crafty. This sort of thing does NOT bring me any type of pleasure. The instructions confused me. It was all, "Use the foam glue to keep the paper in place." First of all, I had no idea what foam glue was. Nothing was labeled. I eventually found squares that were the foam glue. But the instructions didn't specify how many squares that were needed per piece of paper. So I used one, and the paper kept falling off, so I had to add MORE foam glue squares.

Foam glue squares got stuck to my pants. My shirt. My hair.


I HATE foam glue squares.

I eventually figured it out. I mean, it's not perfect. The paper is falling off in some parts but I can't face the foam glue squares anymore.

I let Natalie put the sticker bits on wherever she wanted.

I was like, "We're done! No more Valentine's Day stuff!" and Natalie was like, "You have to bring something for the party. Maybe you can make a cake?"

I laughed.

She was insulted.

"I'll bring store bought sugar cookies and plastic cups. Deal?"

Deal.

Life Lessons From Roseanne

Who else loves the show Roseanne?

It's one of my favorites.


I'm so glad reruns come on frequently. I always tune in even if I've seen the episode 34289723 times.

As I watch, I sometimes think, "Man. If this show aired today, the uppity moms would have a field day." I mean, you have mom groups whining about certain shows and commercials. Keep your TV off then? Hello?


Here's what I imagine they'd complain about:



--Roseanne promotes obesity. People will watch and think it's okay to be fat.

My thoughts: I want some cake!



--Roseanne shouts at her kids! You shouldn't shout at kids. Parents should be saying the things on this chart:

My thoughts: I'm sorry, but this chart is not for me. It's fantastic if it works for you, but I do yell. I do tell my kids, "If you're going to be pissy, go upstairs." I do say, "Don't use that word. It's for adults only."

--Roseanne doesn't spend her money properly. It's why she's always poor.

My thoughts: Welcome to the real world. A lot of people are struggling.



--Roseanne feeds her family junk. Have you seen the pantry? Whenever she goes grocery shopping, she's pulling out ice cream and bags of potato chips.

My thoughts: If it's not your family, why do you care? (Hides all my chips. And ice cream.)



--Darlene is a brat. She needs to be properly disciplined.

My thoughts: Eh. Some people are just moody. See: my kid Natalie. See also: Kate Gosselin's kid Mady.



I appreciate Roseanne and always will. And guess what? I learned that there will be more episodes of Roseanne! It was just announced. So I guess we'll see if people flip out about Roseanne's parenting.

Meanwhile, I'll be cheering her on.

Do you like Roseanne?

Things That Annoy Me Thursday: Kids Growing Up

It happens slowly.

A little voice will say, "I can do it," and will push your hand away when you begin to get them dressed as you've done since they came out of you.

A determined voice will go, "I want to do this without training wheels."

And then.

THEN.

You'll hear, "I don't need you to walk home from school with me anymore."

It's a shock, because you still picture her like this:

But yes, Natalie is now coming home on her own. We're on base, so I don't worry about kidnappers so much. It's not completely safe, because there are insane folks everywhere, but it gives me a little more peace of mind.

Still.

I worried on the first day she came home on her own.

I paced in front of the window. I said, "If she's not home at the proper time, I'm going after her. I'm going to shout her name dramatically like Michelle Pfiffer shouted her son's name when he was lost in The Deep End Of The Ocean."

Tommy was like, "What?" and raised an eyebrow at me.

I told Tom via Facetime that our little girl wanted to come home ALONE. I expected a, "What's going on with our baby girl?" Instead he calmly chewed on M&Ms and went, "It's a good thing. She's growing up."

"Dammit, I don't WANT her to," I snapped.

I mean, I do. But I don't. She still sits in my lap. She still lets me lay out her clothes. She still wants me to come to her school and have lunch with her. I feel like the things she does is slowly drifting away. I'm aching to catch them and hold on, but I know it's impossible.

She still wears her princess clothes, but even now some kids are telling her she's too old for it. I tell her firmly, "You wear your princess dresses whenever you want. I'm a grown adult and I still wear my Anne Boleyn dress." But one I fear she'll proclaim them to be "babyish."

I am pleased to announce that she's been coming home on her own safely.

As I watched out the window that first day, my heart clenched as I saw her riding her bike towards the house.

She was okay.

She was....dare I say it....growing up.

Hey, It's Okay Tuesday!

I got this idea from Glamour magazine. They have a section called Hey, It’s Okay and will list a bunch of things to be okay about. You're welcome to join in and do something like this on your blog. Doesn't have to be on a Tuesday either. Just make sure you link up and that the post you link up is a Hey, It's Okay Post. Grab the button if you'd like!
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--To not want to get my vagina steamed like Gwenyth Paltrow suggested. It doesn't sound fun. And plus, if my husband were like, "What do you do today?" I couldn't answer, "Oh, I got my privates steamed," with a straight face.



--To have not watched the Super Bowl, as promised. I heard about the halftime show. There were beach balls with FACES on them? I must YouTube it. When inanimate objects have faces on them, I'm interested.



--To be happy all my shows are back on Thursday. Scandal was crazy. I appreciate the underwire in my bra more now.


--To also be sad that Parenthood ended. I cried. A lot. Zeek!



--To have a giveaway for a CleanRest Complete Pillowcase from Orkin here. It keeps away the nasty bed bugs.



--To be glad other people look on the positive side when their husband deploys.



--To have been excited to find French Toast Crunch AND the new Ben and Jerry's Cookie Core ice cream:

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Things I Look Forward To When My Husband Deploys

It's never fun when a spouse deploys. In fact, when my husband says he has to deploy, my first reaction is this:



However, I always try to look on the bright side of things. Do I have my moments of wallowing with a pile of chocolate? Yes, of course. But having a positive outlook helps the time pass quicker for me. If I'm constantly crying or in despair over the fact that he's gone, it doesn't help.


When my husband does go, I look forward to the following:


--The bed is all mine!


--I have the remote to myself. I love watching shows that make Tom go, "What the f*ck is going on?" (See: any Real Housewives show, Little People: LA, and Grey's Anatomy.)


--No one saying, "What did you buy at Target NOW?" when I return with bags on my arm.


--I don't have to cook dinner every night. The kids and I tend to have a lot of pancakes or waffles for dinner. This sort of confuses my son, who has autism. He'll sometimes go, "Are we going to have a real dinner soon?" It completely weirded him out when I shouted, "Ice cream for dinner!" once.


--I feel a sense of accomplishment when I fix something on my own. I fixed a broken toilet before. I was quite proud.


--I don't have to shave if I don't want to. Within a few months, I resemble a Yeti, but it's fine.



Deployments are tough. But trying to stay positive helps time go quicker.


What do you look forward to when your spouse is gone?