When Being A Military Family Gets Tough

I usually write upbeat posts about being in the military because for the most part, I love this life. I know my military kids will be stronger because of it. I know my kids will get to experience so many different things that other kids never will.

However, there are definitely a lot of sad aspects to being with someone in the military. Here are some things we've gone through that have squeezed my heart.

1. "Why does Clara get to have her daddy all the time?"  

My daughter once asked this. She goes to school with kids who aren't part of military life and when she was really little, she didn't understand why some daddies were always around and why hers had to go away so much.


2. Sometimes the fights aren't nice.

I once said to Tom in a sarcastic way, "It sure is awesome raising these kids alone most of the time," when I found out he was deploying again. I apologized soon after, but sometimes this life can cause excess stress.


3. It's difficult to plan.

Every time we've planned a vacation, it always gets ruined by a deployment. Tom was supposed to be able to come to Disney World--he even got the go ahead that he'd be good to go so I booked tickets--and then he was told, oops, sorry, we need you to deploy.


4. You hear people bashing the military at times and it takes all your strength not to throw your shoe at them.

They don't get it. They'll never get it. I once heard a man ranting about how the military got a discount and he, as a plumber, did not. Well sorry dude, risk your life for your country and maybe you'll get a damn discount.


5. "Wait Daddy! Say goodbye! Are you leaving for a long time again?"

After Tom got back from being in Korea for a year, Natalie was afraid whenever he'd leave the house. She assumed he'd be gone for months and months. Watching your little girl chase her daddy out to the driveway and attach herself to his leg? It stings.


6. PCSing can be heartbreaking, especially if you have friends.

I hate saying goodbye to great people. But at the same time, I know I can stay in contact with them via Facebook. It is sad when your kids cry and say, "But what if I can't make new friends at the new base?" However, each time my kids have been able to meet new people fairly quickly. Well. My daughter can. She talks to everyone. My son has autism so he's quiet.


7. Getting used to a whole new base is tricky.

..especially if you get lost easily, as I do. See, when you're at a place for a few years you get to know the stores around you. The workers become your friends. They know exactly how you like your drink prepared or what sort of items you're looking for when you enter their store. When you arrive at a new base, you have to find "your" people all over again. You have to find all your favorite stores. This all eventually happens, but usually by the time you find your groove it's time to move again.


8. Yay! Let's pack and unpack all over again.

I hate PCSing only because we have a lot of stuff. I could get rid of said stuff, but I love my stuff. So packing up can take a bit. Unpacking takes even longer. Living out of boxes is never any fun. And if you don't know where you'll be living when you arrive at the new base? It can get chaotic. You can be stuck in a hotel for over a month and when you have kids, it's rough.


Yes, military life can have it's downs. But it mostly has ups. I find the good outweighs the bad. I'll always love this life and when we go through difficult times?

Well, there's chocolate.

5 Thoughts I've Had While Looking For A House

We're PCSing. Or moving, for you non-military folks. We've been searching for a house and it can be stressful. Our realtor has been awesome though and has been doing Facetime walk throughs so we can see before we get there. My mother has also met up with him to give her opinion. We've seen a number of homes at this point and I've had the following thoughts as we've seen them.

1. Uh. Maybe bring your dog with you.

There were times when our realtor couldn't show us the backyard due to dogs. Buyers WANT to see the backyard. So take Fido away from the home.


2. What were you thinking going with that color?

Some people decide on odd paint schemes. I know it's personal preference, but one house we saw was painted a rather horrendous yellow. I had to wonder who decided on that? Did someone really like the color yellow? Did they want their house to go with the street name (Daffodil Way) and if so, why didn't they go with a nicer yellow?


3. If your flooring looks whack, most people won't like the house.

Or maybe we're just picky. But there were bubbles in the flooring of some homes and we don't have the patience to fix it. Plus the price point was high. You'd think if you had bubble floors, you'd lower the price some.


4. Crammed closets aren't welcoming.

I get that when people put their houses on the market that they are in the process of moving. But man, take all the clutter out. If the realtor opens a door and it looks like things will topple over, it frightens the buyers. Trust me, I have A LOT of stuff, but I don't want to see a lot of stuff when I'm looking for a home to buy.


5. The hell? Why is the toilet in the kitchen?

There was one house where the bathroom door was right in the kitchen area. So I guess if you had bad Mexican food, you could rush in there. Personally I don't want to hear people pooing while I'm cooking.



We hope we find a home we like soon, so there will be more posts about that in the future.

Did you find buying a home stressful? Did you also curse a lot and find yourself turning to chocolate and booze?

Hey, It's Okay!

I got this idea from Glamour magazine. They have a section called Hey, It’s Okay and will list a bunch of things to be okay about. You're welcome to join in and do something like this on your blog. Doesn't have to be on a Tuesday either. Just make sure you link up and that the post you link up is a Hey, It's Okay Post. Grab the button if you'd like!
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--To be so glad that Game of Thrones is back. I love that show. "Shame."


--To hope everything goes well with the move. The movers come out Thursday and Friday to pack us up.


--To hope we don't get crazy weather today. There's a chance of hail and tornados. Noo!


--To realize we have A LOT of stuff as I'm organizing for the move.


--To have not watched Beyonce's new video Lemonade. Lots of people kept talking about it and I was all, "I was listening to The Beatles."


--To love this picture of Natalie and her Daddy. They had a blast at the Daddy/Daughter dance and as you see, she went with the pink dress.

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It's Okay If Your Daughter Is A Princess

I've seen the stories floating around social media.


Don't Have Your Daughter Be A Princess!

The Anti-Princess Movement!

Having Your Daughter Be A Princess Sets Us Back 50 Years!

Don't Call My Daughter A Princess!


I don't understand.


From a young age my daughter gravitated towards princess stuff. Her eyes would light up at the wands, the crowds, and the dresses. It never once occurred to me to tell her no.

There's nothing wrong with being a princess. There's nothing wrong with calling your daughter a princess.

I asked my daughter what being a princess meant to her and she told me, "Princesses are strong and smart." She's proud to be called a princess. In her eyes, you're calling her strong. Smart.

I know to some people being a princess is synonymous with being helpless. Depending on a man to solve the problems. Weak. But my daughter has never seen this. In her eyes, Cinderella was strong because she didn't break when everyone was mean to her.

In her mind Merida doesn't tolerate any nonsense.

Rapunzel was brave and left the tower--and saved Flynn.

Never in her response did she use the word "helpless." Or "weak."

It seems to me that it is the adults that are putting this sort of mindset into our children. And it's a shame.

Some parents lament over the cost of princess dress. "Who would fork out all that money for a silly dress?" But at the same time, their daily frappuccinos would probably cost the same amount within a month. Their purse might even be triple the cost of a dress.

Why do I buy the dresses? Because my daughter lights up when she sees one. Because soon my daughter will be a teenager and will be into makeup and boys that might make me nervous.

Look, my daughter loves being a princess--but in the next moment, she's Rey from Star Wars:

And then she's a fairy princess.

If she were ever told that princesses were weak, she'd laugh.

"But Anna traveled through the snow to find her sister!"


"Elsa ran away from the people she loved so she wouldn't HURT them."

Girls CAN be princesses.

And in the next moment?

Darth Vader.

ORKIN Mosquito Summer Scientist Kit Giveaway! #LearnWithOrkin

**I am being given a Summer Scientist Bug Catching Kit in return for my post. No other compensation has been exchanged. My opinions are my own.**


I love that it's getting warm.

But I hate the bugs that come with the warmth. Namely mosquitoes.

Mosquitoes are horrible--I always seem to get bitten no matter what I do.

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The Sleeping Beauty Dilemma: The Blue OR Pink Dress

"What should I WEAR?"

This is what my daughter Natalie shrieked after confirming that yes, her daddy WOULD take her to the daddy/daughter dance. The base is holding one, and apparently Maleficent is making an appearance. WITH Sleeping Beauty. Which is amusing, because Natalie doesn't know if she should wear the pink or the blue dress. Her mind changes daily.

"I want pink!"

But then she'll be eating dinner and suddenly say, "Maybe I need the blue."

And then she'll be changing for the day and exclaim, "But I do look good in pink."

I'll be tucking her in for the night and she'll sigh, "The blue is so PRETTY though."

I tell her she looks cute in either dress.


"They both twirl well," Natalie mused, because at nine, twirlability in a dress is important.

"Do any of them itch?" I wondered, because sometimes Natalie complains about material that makes her skin tingle "in a bad way."

"No," she sighed.

"Which one do you like more?"

"If I knew that, there wouldn't be a PROBLEM!"

A day will pass.

"I might go with blue."

Another day will pass.

"But I LOVE pink!"

"Blue!"

"PINK!"

"BLUE!"

"You know what? I think I'm going with pink. Even Ruby likes it."

So we have a dress!

....for now.

If Buying Something Online, READ The Description

We're moving next month.

So I've been listing items for sale on local Facebook pages.

I recently listed Natalie's kitchen:

This was hard, because Natalie has had the kitchen since she was one. As I washed it, I thought about all her moments with the kitchen, and I teared up. But I knew we couldn't keep it. We have too much stuff.

I listed it for $20. A bargain, really. I also stated that the kitchen was ON BASE pickup only. I don't like delivering items off base because people either will A) not show up or B) say "they're running late" when it's time to pick up. And I don't have time for that nonsense.

Basically? If someone wanted the kitchen, they needed to come to me to pick it up. I was only listing it for $20--I didn't need the money desperately. If I didn't get a buyer, I'd bring it to Once Upon A Child where they'd most likely put it out for $40. So no skin off my back.

Naturally the first person who posted said "Want!" and I reminded her I was on base and she went, "Oh, I'm off base."

I mean.

Did she not READ the description?


Then the next person was like, "I'm off base and would you take $15?"

Lady. No I will not. And I said ON BASE ONLY!

I can understand if they started with "I know you said on base only, but would you consider..." and I'd still say no, but I'd be less irritated.

I shouldn't be surprised though. Every time I've listed items online, I always get people who don't bother to read the description. Always. And I can bet THOSE are the people who don't show up when it's time to meet.

In the end it worked out though. The mom of one of Natalie's friends asked if she could pick it up. And yes, she's on base!

So the kitchen is gone now. I miss it. I stared at the gap where it stood for a bit. Tom came over and I thought he might reminisce with me but instead he went, "It looks SO much better in here now."

I won't be listing anything else. I don't have the patience. We still don't know where we're living when we move, so I'm stressed enough as it is. Everything else is going to Goodwill or Once Upon A Child.

Moral of the story? If you buy stuff online, read the description. Don't be exasperating.

Thanks.

Hey, It's Okay!

I got this idea from Glamour magazine. They have a section called Hey, It’s Okay and will list a bunch of things to be okay about. You're welcome to join in and do something like this on your blog. Doesn't have to be on a Tuesday either. Just make sure you link up and that the post you link up is a Hey, It's Okay Post. Grab the button if you'd like!
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--To have been published over at Scary Mommy again. I write about keeping the magic alive when your kids are growing up. You can check it out here.


--To want to see The Jungle Book. Maybe I'll take the kids soon. I'm not sure if Tom would sit through it.


--To think it's cute that Natalie is excited about the Daddy/Daughter dance on Saturday. Apparently Maleficent is making an appearance.


--To be bummed that we're nearly done watching Breaking Bad. I really enjoy the show even though Walt turned scary.


--To have taken Natalie to a They Serve 2 dinner yesterday at the Youth Center where they thanked military kids.


--To also have a post about military kids being okay here. Some people worry about their well-being since they move around so much and have to say goodbye to a parent often due to deployments. But they'll be fine!


--To have made this because it's true:

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What Exactly Are Shopkins, And Why Are They All Over The House?

"Ouch!" I shrieked as my bare foot connected with plastic nonsense.

"Mommy!" Natalie yelped, and for a second I thought she was going to ask if I was okay. Instead she went, "You HURT them!"

"Who is THEM?" I bellowed, limping to the couch.

"My SHOPKINS," Natalie answered, mortally offended. She scooped up the weapons and hugged them against her chest.

"What exactly ARE they?" I demanded, massaging my wounded foot.

"Shopkins." Natalie gave me the same look I give to Donald Trump whenever he speaks.

"I know," I replied patiently. "But what exactly are they?"

Shopkins came into our lives about a year ago. I blame YouTube. Natalie watches videos where people review different toys and suddenly she was telling me, "CookieSwirlC got some Shopkins!" Soon after there were these colorful objects with eyes in my home because Natalie started spending her allowance on "blind bags." Before I knew what was happening, the house was filled with these things.

"Are they food?" I wanted to know. "With eyes?"

Natalie sighed. "No. They're all sorts of things."

"Margarine?" I questioned. "But why?"

"Because! She's beautiful," Natalie explained.

These things have cutsey names like Birthday Betty and Flappy Cap.

"And they're to play with?" I wanted to know, inspecting one that looked like a washing machine.

"Yes. And to trade."

"What's the goal?"

Natalie blinked at me.

"I mean...what's the point?"

Natalie rubbed her temples. Our roles had reversed. Normally I'm the one rubbing my temples when she's asking me things.

"It's to have fun!" Natalie finally replied. "I love them!"

Oh. Okay. For her birthday, she received some play sets, because of course you can't just COLLECT Shopkins.

And the other day my husband came across a Shopkins (or would it be ShopKIN?), because since they are small, they end up all over the house.

"What," Tom began, "is this?" He held up the toy between his thumb and forefinger.

"Oh," Natalie said simply. "That's Blue Flushes Toilet."

"What the fu--" Tom began, and I shot him a look, so he swallowed the rest down. But I shared his confusion. A toilet Shopkins? But why?

"Is she rare?" I wondered, because I noticed there were "rare" and "limited edition" Shopkins. I assume these are worth more. Maybe the toilet could pay our cable bill.

Natalie shook her head. "I don't think so."

"But if she were...maybe I could list her on eBay and.."

"What! I can't GET RID of my Shopkins!" Natalie looked appalled at the thought.

"But if you trade them, you're sort of getting rid of them," I pointed out.

"I'm trading ONE friend for a NEW friend." I swear Natalie added "Duh" under her breath.

I doubt I'll fully understand Shopkins. But it's okay, because Natalie does. I'll just have to watch where I step, because they are everywhere. It might not hurt as much as stepping on Legos, but it still stings.

And if I think this is the only thing tweens like to trade, I am mistaken. The other day at Toys R Us Natalie spent the rest of her birthday money and calmly told me, "I'm collecting Num Noms now."

Having a girl is fun.