Looking For An Affordable Wrap For Your Baby? Check Out Wrapy!

**I was sent Wrapy in exchange for my honest review. No other compensation was exchanged. My opinions are my own.**


When my kids were babies, I mostly put them in strollers. I would see other babies in wraps, and was always curious about them.


I was sent a Wrapy, and was intrigued.

I wish I had a baby to try it out in. Well. Sort of. I do like my sleep. But sometimes I do miss having a baby around.


The Wrapy came with an instruction booklet. I liked how soft the wrap was.

Here's a video to explain how to use it properly.




I'd show you, but without a baby I worry I'll somehow mess it up. I wonder if my cat will be the baby?

Uh, the cat said no way.


The wrap is also washer and dryer safe, a huge plus in my eyes, because I don't like to hand wash stuff. You also get a 100% lifetime guarantee, so if something goes wrong, you can contact the company for help.

You can purchase Wrapy for $29.97 on Amazon. If you do purchase Wrapy, let me know, because I have a coupon for 15% off.


To learn more about Wrapy, you can check out the Wrapy Webpage, Amazon, and Facebook.

SpouseLink Guest Post: Sharing The Love With Kids On Valentine's Day

You’ve been planning it for two weeks, and you’ve already dropped hints about a big bouquet of roses, heart-shaped box of chocolate truffles, new bottle of perfume, and a romantic candlelit evening for two… when a small voice from across the room reminds you that your kids’ will be exchanging valentines with their classmates at school. No problem. You can buy or make them easily enough. The more difficult question to answer is what your kids will be doing on Valentine’s Day while you’re digging into your chocolate box. How will you keep your little ones occupied? Here are 5 ideas to try.

1) Translucent heart-shaped collage window decor: Gather tissue paper in shades of pink, red and white, a few coordinating chenille stems (pipe cleaners), a 12” length of ribbon, raffia or twine, and white glue from the craft store. Cut a 5”x5” square of white paper to use as the background. Cut out small hearts from the pink and red papers and overlay them to create a collage on the white paper. Cut two chenille stems in half. Glue them to the edges of the white paper as a frame. Set aside and let everything dry completely. Punch a hole at the top/center of the white paper and thread the ribbon, raffia or twine through it. Make a knot and use the string to hang the art in front of a sunny window.


2) Heart-shaped cookies: Get out your favorite cookie recipe, or buy ready-made dough at the grocery store. Roll it out, stamp it with heart-shaped cookie cutters and bake. When cooled, the options for decorating are endless: Sprinkle with white or powdered sugar or cinnamon; dip one side in melted chocolate; paint or pipe on pink and red icing; sandwich strawberry ice cream between two cookies to make a special dessert… and on and on. Let your little ones’ hearts lead the way.


3) Hand-stitched heart pillow or sachet: Cut two identical hearts out of red paper or felt. Punch holes or draw dots ¼ to ½-inch apart from each other along the outer edge, the whole way around. Thread complementary yarn through a large plastic embroidery needle (for little kids) or a standard metal needle (older kids with previous experience — but you should always supervise them anyway). Using the holes or dots as a guide, use a simple straight or blanket stitch to attach the two hearts together. When you are a couple of inches away from where you started, insert polyester stuffing and/or some lavender or other potpourri. Finish your stitches and secure with a knot at the end of the yarn. If you leave a long enough string, try tying it into a pretty bow.


4) Colorful “Love Bug”: Two 1-inch diameter pom-poms, two small googly eyes, one chenille stem, a small scrap of felt and standard white glue are all you need. Glue one pom-pom to the other to form the body. On one pom-pom, glue the googly eyes to create a “face”. Cut the chenille stem into two equal-length pieces. Cut one of them into six short, equal-sized lengths. Create the bug’s antenna, plus two legs and two arms and poke them into place on the bug’s body (antenna on the head, arms and legs on the abdomen). Glue into place. Use the remaining long length of your chenille stem to create a set of wings. Glue to the center of the bug’s back. Cut a small heart out of the felt and glue it to the bug’s back, either above or below the wings (your preference). Let the glue dry completely.


5) Yarn-wrapped heart: Cut a heart out of poster board or card board. Using red, pink, or multi-colored yarn, being to wrap the heart all the way around, crisscrossing strings as you go. If necessary, you can glue or tape down the loose end of the yarn at the beginning, before you begin to wrap. When the heart is full of yarn (meaning: you cannot see the poster board or cardboard anymore), cut the end of the yarn and glue or tape it to the board, hiding it completely under the yarn you just wrapped. Use a length of ribbon to create a hanger for a doorknob.


Working on these activities with your kids will create lasting memories that you can keep for the years to come. So share the day with them and spread the love. There will still be plenty of time for chocolate later!




AAFMAA is the longest-standing not-for-profit association that empowers current and former military with affordable financial solutions including, life insurance, investment management, and survivor assistance. AAFMAA is also the creator of SpouseLink, a free website for Military Spouses that was created to support, inform and inspire users with a variety of content–anything from pop culture to important Military information.


To learn more about SpouseLink, check out their social media pages: Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and YouTube.

To learn more about AAFMAA, check out their social media pages: Facebook and Twitter.

I Can't Deal With Puke

I started feeling sick in the evening. Tom was all, "Just puke. You'll feel better."

I don't deal well with puke. I cry when I do it. I gag when my children do it. If I can avoid puke, I will.

"I'll take medicine," I said, reaching for the Motrin bottle.

I was out of it for the rest of the evening. I went right to sleep when I got into bed. I was up multiple times in the night with an aching stomach. I knew Tom would say, "Just puke. You'll feel better." But I couldn't!

And then at 4 AM, I heard puking sounds coming from the hall.

At this point my stomach was feeling a little better--you see Tom, I didn't have to puke!--so I went out to see who was getting sick. I crossed my fingers. Please let vomit not be all over the hallway, please let vomit not be all over the hallway...

I found Natalie in front of the toilet.

"Mommy," she croaked. "I'm..." But she didn't finish, because she barfed into the toilet.

My eyes scanned the hallway. No puke!

"Did you...get sick anywhere else?" I asked. And then I felt horrible, because my kid was obviously sick, and I'm more concerned about having to clean up.

"No," Natalie answered when she was finished upchucking. She had a dribble of vomit on her lower lip and to my horror, she started to walk towards me.

"Vomit!" I screeched. "Vomit!" I pointed dramatically to the spot. I reached for a wash cloth and wiped Natalie's mouth.

Some mothers are all, "When you have kids, you deal with their blood, snot, and vomit like it's nothing."

I'm here to say this is a lie. I feel weak when I see their blood. I back away when I see their snot. And I go into a panic when I see vomit.

I tucked Natalie back into her bed.

"Mommy," she croaked. "Please move my stuffed animals away from me. They'll be offended if I puke on them."

I obeyed her request and moved her friends to the end of her bed.

I set the barf bucket beside her.

"Please," I pleaded. "If you feel sick, do it in here."

She did get sick a few more times. But I'm happy to say she did it in the bucket.

Obviously she did not go to school. She lounged on the couch and I introduced her to some of the shows I watch. Like The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.

"That's Yolanda," I said, pointing. "The rest of the ladies are wondering if she's really sick."

Natalie's eyes went wide. "She's lying about being sick?"

I shrugged. "Nobody knows. But," I said in a scandalous tone, "her husband DID just leave her."

"Wow," Natalie breathed.

I gestured to the screen. "That's Lisa Vanderpump. She's massively rich."

"Vanderpump is a funny last name," Natalie informed me.

After that show, I put on Teen Mom.

"Don't ever act like Farrah," I said.

"She's not very nice," Natalie answered, scowling at the screen. "Why does her face look like that? Why is she yelling all the time?"

"She lives in Texas. Do you want to go save Sophia with me?"

Natalie nodded but then went, "You watch some strange things."

The good news is she started to feel better:

She was back to dancing around and SPEAKING LIKE THIS when I was trying to watch my show.

So she went to school the next day:

And now I have to hope that I won't have to deal with puke again for a very long time.

Things That Annoy Me Thursday: Do People Not Get What Single File Means Anymore?

In the morning after I drop Natalie off at school, I usually walk home. By the time I'm walking back, the Youth Center kids are coming out, and the group is scattered in clumps. This means I have to walk in the grass. It's not a big deal, but if it's wet, I don't want to be in the grass. So sometimes I'll go, "Single file, kids. Single file," and I'm met with a look like this:

Does no one understand what single file means anymore?

It's this:

Source

People get into a line on both sides of the sidewalk, so no one has to walk in the grass. I've had to walk in the grass thanks to large families who don't understand what single file means. Even adults don't like to get into a line so the person on the other side can pass comfortably on the sidewalk.

Sometimes when I'm jogging, there's a clump of Moms and strollers on the trail. One would think they'd move into a single file--and most of the time they do--but sometimes they remain in the clump so I get to, you guess it, run into the grass. And when you're running in the grass, sometimes there are sticks and rocks and I'd rather not go flat on my face.

So remember these two words: SINGLE. FILE. Teach your kids what it means.

No one should have to end up in the grass.

Hey, It's Okay Tuesday!

I got this idea from Glamour magazine. They have a section called Hey, It’s Okay and will list a bunch of things to be okay about. You're welcome to join in and do something like this on your blog. Doesn't have to be on a Tuesday either. Just make sure you link up and that the post you link up is a Hey, It's Okay Post. Grab the button if you'd like!
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--To hope everyone who is dealing with lots of snow are doing okay.


--To be curious about the X-Files re-boot. I never watched the original series. Could I watch this one and not be totally lost?


--To have ordered invitations for Natalie's birthday party on Etsy. She wanted Five Nights At Freddy's invitations and you can't buy those in stores.


--To not be watching ANY football. I always hear about the games on social media--some people are very passionate. I get it: I'm the same way about my books.


--To be glad I helped some people get some Minecraft Valentines on yesterday's blog post.


--To sometimes roll my eyes when a kid video wins America's Funniest Home Videos. Most of the time I find it annoying when other people are laughing hysterically.


--To be working to build my Pinterest and Facebook accounts. Consider following the pages if you haven't already. And if you don't want to, that's okay too ;)


--To have crafted again at the spouses meeting. Take the cardboard thing that comes with photo frames. Use that to cut out the uniform bit (make it a little larger so you can fold it), super glue it down, get a name tape, and you're done! Mind you, I did manage to mess this up, but one of the awesome key spouses helped me out. She knows I can't craft.

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How To Make Easy Minecraft School Valentines

....buy them.


I am not a big crafter. I know there are other people who aren't big crafters. So. This is a post for you. It's even a post for crafters who aren't in the mood to make Valentines.


To make the card for a Valentine's Day party at school, go to Tiny Prints. Oh, and no, this isn't a sponsored post, nor am I getting paid for any affiliate links. Click here for the Minecraft options. You'll see the one Natalie has. I picked the 25 cards option since she has 24 people in her class. They are under $20. Then I personalized them with her name, put in my credit card info, and I was done.

Then I decided, hey, let's get the kids chocolate too because I love chocolate. We kept with the Minecraft theme and found a woman on Etsy who made chocolate Minecraft wrappers. She's called TheWrapperPress and the Minecraft wrappers were found here.

I admit, when they arrived I thought I wouldn't be able to wrap the chocolate properly. I thought I'd mess it all up. I won't lie, I didn't wrap them as nicely as I should have. I sort of slapped everything together. But they still look fine!

And now we're done. The teacher says NOT to label them with children's names AND Natalie doesn't have to sit and sign 25 Valentines now since they're personalized. This means I don't have to hear her whine about having to sign 25 Valentines like I did last year. ("My hand hurts." "My fingers are cramping." "Can you just finish?" "Maybe I'll sign it with a N and leave it at that.")


I didn't leave the teacher out. She'll be getting this:

I figure her students will be hopped up on sugar because of the party, so she could use her own chocolate to cope.


Do you go for easy Valentines?

Unrealistic And Unreasonable Things I've Said As A Military Spouse

My husband has been in the Air Force for nearly 15 years now. We've gone through multiple deployments, TDYs, and a year long Korea tour. I've said some pretty ridiculous things throughout the years.

Here are just some of them.

1. "Tell them you can't deploy. We have plans." Surprisingly, this doesn't work.


2. "We have to explain to housing that we need a four bedroom home because we have a lot of stuff." I once asked just to see. I was laughed at.


3. "No. You can't go." When he told me he had to deploy. He still went.


4. "Why is the gate closed? I have places to go!" My husband is security forces and hates people who complain like this. Sorry, Tom. I know everyone is doing their job. But this usually always happens when I have an appointment to get to, and you know I HATE to be late.


5. "Do you think I should go be best friends with the base commander's wife like on Army Wives?" I don't even know who the base commander's wife IS.


6. "Before combat, do you all sing One Day More from Les Miserables?" Tom said WTF?


7. "I'm not cooking dinner tonight. Have a MRE." Met by a blank expression.


8. "When you deploy, don't talk to women. At all. Mime your responses." Unrealistic. Many strong women are in the military. Many don't care about your husbands. But there are a select few with loose morals. It's these women that make spouses suspicious. (I also know there are men with loose morals. See: Duggar, Josh.)


9. "Do you stand up and go 'expert, bitches!' when you get expert when you fire your weapon?" Tom said WTF?


10. "Do you listen to the Rocky theme while doing your PT test?" Answer? Sometimes. Sweet!


11. "Have you ever farted during the sit up portion of the PT test?" Tom said WTF?


12. "If you fail your PT test, blame it on me. Say I keep buying Little Debbie snacks and you can't help yourself." Tom suggested I just not buy junk food. Asked him if he wanted me to curl in a ball and shout expletives, because I would turn into a moody MOFO without my treats.


13. "Why aren't you getting paid millions of dollars for risking your life?" Tom said, I signed up to defend my country because I love her. Not for the money. (Still. If you're risking your life you should get millions. Not football players who run around in tight pants. They might get concussions, but at least they have millions to fall back on. You get wounded and you're left with bills and a VA hospital who could give a rat's ass.)



Have you said anything crazy to your spouse?

Why Won't Littlest Pet Shop Toys Come Out Of Their Packaging Easily?!

Natalie loves Littlest Pet Shop toys.

They are cute--don't get me wrong. But I dread when she buys them because...

They are a PAIN to get out of the package! They're practically WEDGED into the plastic. You think they'd just pop out, but no. (I swear that purple dog was mocking me too..)

So I'm struggling, and pieces are flying everywhere--did I mention Littlest Pet Shop comes with tiny parts?

"Come out!"

"Why is nothing happening when I'm struggling so hard? Am I THIS WEAK?"

"Sorry. Mommy gives up. These will just be staying in the package."

This did not sit well with Natalie. I had to get a dull knife and pop the remaining ones out.

Natalie has a blast with Littlest Pet Shop toys. But please. Make a frustration-free package like Amazon offers.

Do you have issues getting toys out of their packaging or am I just incredibly weak?

Hey, It's Okay Tuesday!

I got this idea from Glamour magazine. They have a section called Hey, It’s Okay and will list a bunch of things to be okay about. You're welcome to join in and do something like this on your blog. Doesn't have to be on a Tuesday either. Just make sure you link up and that the post you link up is a Hey, It's Okay Post. Grab the button if you'd like!
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--To still be loving the show The Blacklist. It's a great show and if you've never checked it out, you should!


--To be glad other people understood the points I made in my Why Making A Murderer Pissed Me Off post.


--To be attempting to make some guacamole soon. I'm the only one in the house who likes it though. But I really want some and I hate paying extra for it in restaurants. I'm too cheap.


--To refuse to jog when it's freezing out. I see some ladies happily jogging past my window and I'm like, "No thanks."


--To hate figuring out what's for dinner for the week. I try to meal plan, but I keep thinking, "This is BS. Why do we need dinner every dang night?"


--To have a giveaway for the new Lego Friends: Girlz 4 Life Blu Ray DVD here.


--To love this photo of Ruby. She was meowing at some sunlight on the walls. It was mocking her.

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Lego Friends: Girlz 4 Life Blu-Ray DVD Giveaway!

**Warner Bros. Home Video provided me with some of the materials I used in this Blog Post/Giveaway. The opinions I share are my own.**


Yes, my kids love Legos.

We have many of them in the house.

Yes, I've stepped on them before.

Yes, I've cursed.

But Legos isn't just about the brick pieces anymore. No, now there are DVDs.

There is a new one called Lego Friends: Girlz 4 Life. Yes the title makes my eyes cross. (Girls. For.)




My daughter is excited about the DVD. It's about friendships and trusting yourself to stand up when things aren't right. Olivia, Stephanie, Emma, Mia, and Andrea learn about the importance of friendship. Fame isn't important if you have your people.


Check out the app to watch the music video. Natalie has made me watch it five times so far. You can also download the Girlz 4 Life activity pack plus so much more! (Girls. For.)






A lucky reader can win a Blu-Ray DVD of Lego Friends: Girlz 4 Life. (Girls. For.)



a Rafflecopter giveaway




Good luck!



Each household is only eligible to win LEGO FRIENDS: Girlz 4 Life Blu-ray via blog reviews and giveaways. Only one entrant per mailing address per giveaway. If you have won the same prize on another blog, you will not be eligible to win it again. Winner is subject to eligibility verification.

Why Making A Murderer Pissed Me Off

So, like most of America I watched Making A Murderer.

For those who don't know, it's about Steven Avery.

In the first episode we discover that he was wrongfully sent to prison for 18 years for a rape he did not commit. A DNA test cleared his name. He was released and went after Manitowoc County for sending him to jail. I'd totally do the same thing by the way. I mean, that's 18 years of his life that he can't get back. He had 4 kids that he missed seeing grow up. He might have won 36 million.

BUT. Then he was accused of murdering Teresa Halbach. The keys to her vehicle were magically found in his house on the SEVENTH time the police searched it. Right out in the open. A lot of the police force of Manitowoc County have clearly been corrupted, and this makes me sad as my husband is a cop and he would NEVER behave like some of the men did. Thanks for making cops look bad, guys.

Steven wasn't the only one accused. His nephew Brendan Dassey was basically forced to say he was involved. By the police. *Sighs*

Here are other reasons why Making A Murderer pissed me off.

--Steven Avery was accused of shooting Teresa Halbach but where is all her blood? The defense claimed to find a bullet fragment with Teresa's DNA on it. I just...I go back and forth. It does seem like he was set up. I was like this while watching the show often:

--This guy.

Len Kachinsky. Brendan's appointed lawyer. He clearly thought Brendan was guilty. And he looks like a pedophile. I wanted to punch his smug face so many times. It was obvious that he loved the attention more than he loved helping Brendan.


--Oh, and this guy.

Ken Kratz, the district attorney for Wisconsin. His voice is that of a psychopath. I knew something was off about it. And sure enough, in the last episode we find out that this dude was sexting women he was representing. He also abused prescription drugs. And yet, everyone trusts that this guy was of sound mind when he put Steven Avery and Brendan Dassey behind bars. Makes total sense, Manitowoc County.


--Why weren't there lawyers who offered to work pro bono for Brendan Dassey? You'd think SOMEONE would feel for this poor teenager who was being fed what to say by the police. So where were all the lawyers in Wisconsin?! Why make him suffer through appointed ones (like yucky Len??) Has no one seen I Am Sam? Where's Michelle Pfeiffer when you need her?

--Oh my gosh, the phone conversations between Brendan and his mother made me want to tear my ears off. Sometimes they'd START the conversation with "Yeah?" "Yeah." What were they even Yeah-ing about? I'm baffled. Then again, I have a teenage son who likes to grunt out words, so maybe I do get it.


--In the courtroom, lawyers were always scribbling stuff down in notebooks. I wanted to see what they were writing. Where they like, "This guy is a total ass," when the other side was up? I would so do that. For example, if I were watching Ken Kratz plead his case I'd write, "Mustache frightens me. Voice belongs in the TV show Hannibal."


--Brendan did NOT get a fair trial. People tried to get him a fair trial afterwards but it was denied. I'm confused. If you watch the tapes, you see Brendan was coerced to say a lot of things. The kid was terrified. All he wanted to do was return home. So he said what the police wanted him to say. My husband was livid when he saw the interviews. "Where's his lawyer? Where's his mother? You can't pick up a kid from school and interview him!" My husband went on and on and on.


--Uh. Brendan and his mother didn't know what inconsistent meant. In a phone conversation after we get through all the "yeahs" he asks his mother was inconsistent meant. She had no idea. And yet, Brendan was tossed in jail. The poor kid doesn't get common words, yet the state thinks he helped commit a murder? What the EFFING EFFING hell?

So have you seen Making A Murderer? Did it piss you off too?

Things That Annoy Me Thursday: School Projects and Whining

Natalie was like, "We have to build a diorama."

I went, "Fabulous. You can get started."

Because I won't do projects for the kids.

She decided to do one of the ocean. She also had to select a sea creature. She picked a great white shark.

"This isn't much fun for me," she said as she cut out paper for the diorama.

"Welcome to life," I answered.

I did help her with the hot glue gun. Otherwise I picture hot glue everywhere: the floor. The walls. On skin.

She also had to type out a report. She was PISSED. This is because she pecks at the keys with one finger so it took her forever.

"I AM NOT HAVING FUN!" she kept yelling.

I ignored her.

She finally finished and was in a foul mood for a bit.

"That," she informed me in a haughty voice, "was awful."

But she did it.

And guess what?

She got an A. Higher than an A, really.

She earned it, because I made her do it on her own. I went with her to turn in the diorama because I picture it somehow being crushed on her walk to school. You could so tell when parents did most of the work on some dioramas. How that helps a kid is beyond me. Yes listening to Natalie whine is irritating.

But it's worth it in the end.

(But I still inwardly groan whenever my kids bring home a paper for a project.)

Hey, It's Okay Tuesday!

I got this idea from Glamour magazine. They have a section called Hey, It’s Okay and will list a bunch of things to be okay about. You're welcome to join in and do something like this on your blog. Doesn't have to be on a Tuesday either. Just make sure you link up and that the post you link up is a Hey, It's Okay Post. Grab the button if you'd like!
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--To be really sad David Bowie passed away. He was fantastic. Labyrinth is one of my all time favorite movies.



--To hope that Farrah from Teen Mom really isn't adopting a kid. If you've seen the show you know she's not the nicest person...



--To have bought more Powerball tickets. Only two. I'm cheap.



--To be pleased with the children's report cards. As and Bs. C in math. I really can't judge. I was always awful in math.



--To have not watched the Golden Globes. I just catch the highlights the next day. Leo and Kate reunited? Yay!



--To be glad other people are annoyed with certain words that I shared in my Words I Wish We'd Get Rid Of For 2016 post. Sometimes I feel like I'm just a cranky lady.



--To have gone to Five Guys over the weekend. It's something that the teenager actually enjoys!

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Words I Wish We'd Stop Using In 2016

I'm really feeling my age these days when I see things posted on social media. People are using words that I haven't even heard of. There are some words that make me cringe. Maybe I'd use them if I were a teenager. Maybe. I do remember walking around shrieking "SIKE!"

I can't help but wish the following words would go away forever.

Selfie. I know millions love it. Millions use it. But I can't. It's an awful word that makes me wince. I rank it right up there with the word moist. The word is getting worse, if you can believe it. I read in a magazine that people are now using the hashtag HEALTHIE when they take gym photos. No. Please no. Natalie wanted a shirt that said "Believe in your selfie." I said no way. I can't. My eyes.


Bro. Do men get irritated when people they barely know are all, "Hey bro!" Because I would. I'd be like, "Who the hell ARE you? What's with the bro? Do you even know my name?" Maybe men are spouting "bro this" and "bro that" because they've forgotten their companion's name? I mean, my husband forgets to put the toilet seat down even though I remind him often, so it's plausible..


Bae. I had to look this one up. It means 'before anyone else.' It also means poop in Danish, and this is what I immediately think of when I see a photo tagged with BAE. It takes all my might not to go, "Oh, you're hanging out with poop today? Gross."


Amazeballs. "The Tudors are amazeballs!" Um, not they aren't. They are awesome. Not amazeballs.


Adorbs. "Your daughter looks adorbs!" Sometimes I get this comment when I share photos of her. I always want to say, "Adorable, you mean?"


Jelly. Not the spread. As in "You got a gift card to Target? I'm SOOO jelly!" When I first heard this I really did go, "What?" And the girl was like, "You know, jealous?" And I went, "Why didn't you just say jealous then?" and she had the nerve to blink at me as if I were the crazy one.


On fleek. I had to look this one up too. It means on point. Why people aren't just saying on point is beyond me. People will post a photo of themselves and say something like, "My outfit is on fleek today." I want to say, "You look great. I can't say on fleek. I'm in my thirties."


Totes. Not the storage bin. Totes means totally. I sometimes watch E! News and some of the hosts are around my age and they're all, "She looks TOTES AMAZEBALLS after giving birth only two weeks ago. I'm so jelly!" I really want to tweet them, "I'm sorry, are we speaking teen now? What the hell?"



Maybe it hurts my eyes because I love the English language so much. I still feel a shock when I see a grown adult use the improper your after all. I almost want to text back, "Try again," if someone sends me a text filled with U and UR for you and your.

And I am getting older. I know that's another part of it.

Still. I wish we'd dump all these words before my daughter starts using them. Just the other day she was like, "My friend got a bunch of new Shopkins and I'm SOOOO jelly."

I told her to knock it off. But if these words won't go, I can see her spouting them left and right just to annoy me.

Help.

That Time Our Base Housing House Almost Caught On Fire

All the fire alarms went off. The cats were darting around the house in a panic. Tommy came down the stairs wanting to know what was going on. "Are you cooking?" he asked, hands over his ears. This is because the fire alarms have gone off when I was cooking before. Many, many times.

Then Security Forces came to the door.

"We saw smoke pouring out of your house."

But let me back up.

This is what happened: I went into the kitchen. I pre-heated the oven for the garlic bread. I walked away. I read a chapter of my book. Fine, two chapters. I went back in the kitchen and saw smoke wafting out of the oven.

"Huh," I said, because I didn't know what was happening. My caffeine had worn off at that point. I thought maybe it was the fry that fell to the bottom of the oven last week. I had been meaning to sweep away the charred remains. I opened the oven and...

Source

That's not my photo because I was in a panic. The fire basically looked like that. I started to run around the kitchen like ET--arms raised up and everything.

"Fire!" I screamed. "Fire!"

I opened the cabinet and tugged out the fire extinguisher. At this point Tom had run in because when someone keeps shouting "fire," you check it out.

The house was filling with smoke. The fire alarms went off. All of them. It was what I imagine a club to sound like.

Tom turned on the fire extinguisher and got the fire out. But the house was still filled with smoke.

"Are you cooking?" Tommy boomed. He does not like loud noises. He went back upstairs to his room and slammed the door before I could respond.

Security Forces came to the door. "We saw smoke pouring out of your house."

This is because we opened all the doors and windows.

We were asked if we wanted them to call the fire department. No, we answered. We got the fire out. But thank you.

Then I had to call base housing to report what happened. Two guys came out to take photos of the oven. Probably to charge us $13290824308 if we don't clean it properly.

So what happened, you might be asking? What caused the oven to catch on fire?

Well. Natalie had put wax candles in it. They were in the shape of cookies. Apparently she was pretending to cook earlier. I mean, she has a PRETEND kitchen so why she felt the need to put crap in the REAL oven is beyond me.

This is all that remains of her cookie candles:

We reminded her that the oven was NOT to play with. Do NOT place things in it. Ever.

This is what the oven looked like:

It took forever to scrub the wax away. Tom took care of the rest.

The moral of this story is always check the inside of the oven BEFORE you pre-heat it.

(And yes, the irony did not escape me because on Monday I wrote that one reason why my kids weren't getting a hoverboard was because I was worried it was going to burn down the house. It turns out, one of my kids nearly did that anyway..)

Things That Annoy Me Thursday: Family Not Getting Excited About Sales At Target

I admit it.

I was stalking Target. I was waiting for them to mark their Christmas stuff to 70% off. I'm too cheap to shop at 50% off. We had planned a family outing to Toys R Us and Barnes and Noble--but before we could go to those places I asked Tom if we could please stop by Target. In case they marked their stuff 70% off.

Tom begrudgingly agreed. He does not share my love for Target.

So we go to Target. And everyone in my family is walking SUPER SLOW inside. A woman walked out of the store with about 10 rolls of wrapping paper and a cart FULL of Christmas items.

"I think it happened!" I told Tom excitingly, tugging on his arm. I even did a little happy jump.

He was like:

I rushed towards the back to where all the Christmas items were.

"There goes Mommy, kids," I heard Tom say.

Because I was all:

I already had a number of things in the cart by the time my family arrived.

"Jesus," Tom said, because I think my shopping abilities confound him.

I got some wrapping paper. I got some Christmas cards. Some ornaments to replace the ones that the cat broke. Cookies.

"Cookies?" Tom asked, raising an eyebrow.

I shrugged. "They're cheap."

I went around the aisles and searched behind items. Sometimes people hide good stuff. Tommy kept sighing dramatically behind me. As a male teenager if he's not eating or playing video games, he's really not interested. His face was like this:

"Isn't this fun?" I asked as I pulled out a sign that said JOY from behind a stack of Christmas boxes. I added it to the cart.

"No. Are we leaving soon?" Tommy asked.

"Soon. Go with your Daddy," I suggested.

"He left."

He LEFT? I peered around and sure enough, he had vanished.

He returned a few minutes later with some vehicle stuff. A new ice scraper.

"When did you leave?" I wondered.

"Um, after you started getting excited about ornaments."

Oh.

I had a good time. I only spent $30, which is fantastic for a shopping trip to Target.

Even better, I went back to Target yesterday and they had marked Christmas items 90% off! There wasn't much left, but I got three rolls of wrapping paper for .25 cents each.

And I had no one telling me this:

Does your family get excited about sales?

Hey, It's Okay Tuesday!

I got this idea from Glamour magazine. They have a section called Hey, It’s Okay and will list a bunch of things to be okay about. You're welcome to join in and do something like this on your blog. Doesn't have to be on a Tuesday either. Just make sure you link up and that the post you link up is a Hey, It's Okay Post. Grab the button if you'd like!
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--To be watching Making A Murderer on Netflix. It's interesting. It's upsetting to Tom. As a cop, he hates hearing about shady ones. And there are some shady ass cops in this documentary.



--To not think Teresa Guidice really got punished properly for lying. She was recently released from prison, and what her husband has stated, it didn't seem like it was rough for her in there. He likened it to a spa at one point and I'm thinking, "Um. How is that a punishment?"



--To be ready for the kids to go back to school today. They had yesterday off because it was a teacher workday.



--To have told someone that my word of the year is "hungry." I don't understand when people ask me what my word is. I'm usually hungry, so it's hungry.



--To have gone to Barnes and Noble over the weekend. I love it in there. I could breathe in books all day.



--To be taking a bunch of stuff to Once Upon A Child this week. Old toys, clothes, shoes, etc...trying to make room for new things.



--To feel like this after paying off all the Christmas bills:

On the plus, we have no debt.

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